This Is Beginning To Get Tedious

Spies Camembert
Takes immediate interest in Camembert
Moves stealthily towards Camembert
Nobody notices
Good
Moves hand over plate
Still no interference
Takes knife
Interference still absent
Eeeeeeeeexcellent
Knife descends
Knife ascends
Knife descends again
This time through Camembert
Apologises to both halves of Ben
Camembert bisected
Moving towards mouth
Docking complete!
Interesting taste
Eat
Eat
Eat
Large bite more
Eat
EAT
Eat
Nibble
Eat
Continued eat
Hm
Fattier than expected
Eat
Less tang
Eat
Rind curiously unobtrusive
Eat
Eat
Eat
Notes Camembert still intact
Eat (with less conviction)
Notes butter beside Camembert
Eat (distinctly half-heartedly)
Notes butter rather less than intact
Eat (like a mere ghost of a man) (Begob)
Eat
No eat
Exploratory third helping
Eat
Eat
Eat

Moment of horrible clarity

Woe

Eat