Which Evil Criminal are You?

Do you live for nefarious wrongdoings?

No

Yes

Would you ever sign a postcard, "from Hell," and mean it?

Yes

No

Do you just love shopping at Gap?

Yes

No

Are ordinary skin treatments just not enough?

Yes

No

Would you consider yourself to have minions?

Yes

No

Would you consider yourself to have mittens?

Yes

No

Would you make mittens out of your minions?

Yes

No

Have you ever brought terror and destruction to large portions of a major country?

Yes

No

Can you spell?

Yes

No

Did you enjoy Suddenly Susan?

Yes

No

Do you sometimes chuckle heartily to yourself because those damn ignorant pickfucker cops will never find you, never in a million years, not even if they turn over every fucking brick in the country, ha ha ha?

Yes

No

Do you find mirth in Saturday morning cartoons?

Yes

No

Have world leaders endorsed your philosophy of terror? Alternatively, has the entire world denounced you as pure evil, while remaining completely riveted to you?

Yes

No

Have irritating sub-Ziggy Stardust glam rockers named themselves after you?

Yes

No

Have you ever obliterated a village?

Yes

No

Can you ever truly be stopped?

Yes

No