Selected scenes from hit movies in Monster World (part one)

INT - COFFEE SHOP. MORNING. Huaaargh and Grrrzhh are sitting at a booth. Huaaargh is eating a massive pile of pancakes and bovine excrement, which seems to have been seasoned with some kind of fungal infection. He wolfs it down. Grrrzhh, however, has decided to satisfy himself with a simple cup of faeces and a rancid spleen; we can see in his seventeen eyes that he's daydreaming. Perhaps thinking of a new day. The waitress comes by and shits a refill into their cups.

HUAAARGH Thank you, dear. That's lovely. to Grrrzhh, who isn't even drinking his shit: Hey, want some pancake? GRRRZHH No dude. I don't eat pancake. HUAAARGH Are you on a diet? GRRRZHH No man, I just don't dig on pancake, that's all. HUAAARGH Why not? GRRRZHH They human food. I don't eat human food. HUAAARGH Crepes taste good. Bleenies taste good. GRRRZHH Pumpkin pie might taste like sewer rat, but I wouldn't know 'cause I wouldn't eat the disgusting motherfucker. Humans eat Twinkies and SPAM™ - that's a disgusting fucking diet. I don't wanna eat nothin' that ain't got sense enough to disregard a fuckin' Twinkie. HUAAARGH How about Christians? Christians eat Twinkies. GRRRZHH I ain't gonna eat a Christian. HUAAARGH Yes, but would you consider a Christian to have a filthy fuckin' diet? GRRRZHH I wouldn't go so far as to call their diet filthy, but they're definitely detestible little creeps anyway. And that goes a long way. HUAAARGH So by that rationale, if all humans were detestible little creeps, their diets wouldn't be filthy, and you'd eat their pancakes? GRRRZHH We'd have to be talkin' about one detestible motherfuckin' human here. I'm not talkin' about that Clinton guy you see on CNN. It'd have to be the Dark Evil Zghhrerrrrr of humans, you know what I'm saying? Both monsters laugh, spreading entrails everywhere.

What do you think, did we get it right? Comment here...

WANT MORE FUNNY LIKE THIS? FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK