The Republican Dictionary

Abortion n.
Killing prematurely, viz., without giving the target a chance to acquire nukes.
Axis of Evil n. abs.
Shopping list.
Cloning n.
The process from which religion claims relevance and by which new presidents are made.
Death Penalty, the n. v.pl.
Practice.
Economics n. pl.
Tax cuts.
Elucidation n. abs.
Repeating oneself at half speed.
Foreign Policy n. abs.
Increasing the military budget.
Freedom Int.
A meaningless interjection. Cf. "Oh!", "Gee golly gosh!"
Gun Control n. abs.
See "terrorism".
Homeland Security n. abs.
1. Guidelines for avoiding giving away state secrets through careless talk, e.g. meaningless interjections.
2. Decentralising power and reenfrancising the populace by transferring power from government officals to the people, e.g. by shifting the responsibility for the continued safety of 280 million people from the Secretary of State to squadrons of sleep-deprived airport check-in staff.
Isolationism n. abs.
Forgetting to increase the military budget.
Oil n.
"It", gentlemen, "it".
Press Conference n.
Fleischer-induced medianeurysm.
Rebuilding n. pl.
Immediate departure. Cf. "I will return."
Rogue Nation n.
Suspicious foreign power without nukes.
Self-Defence n.
1. Our wars.
2. Israeli atrocities.
Spirit of Freedom and Democracy, the n. pl.
Our nukes.
Terrorism n. v.abs.
1. (Disagreement by) other nations.
2. Actual terrorism.
3. Arab atrocities.
4. Activities we don't know about.
5. Activities we do know about.
6. Greenpeace.
7. Immigration.
8. Other things.
Treason n. abs.
Disagreement by sections of one's own population.
Valued Trading Partner n. abs.
Suspicious foreign power with nukes.
Veto n. abs.
1. (Amer. Slang) Variation on the popular game "Snap", in which a group of people (the "yoo-en") say names of countries slowly. The object of the game is to shout "veto!" as soon as possible after the yoo-en say "Israel".
2. (For. Dngr. Pnk. Comm.) A form of persistent tinnitus.
Weapons of Mass Destruction n. abs.
Their nukes.

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