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Which Dark Lord Are You?

by David Blue

This is a user-written personality test created with the Personality Test Generator. Rum and Monkey isn't responsible for its content, however good or bad it may be.

We all know that one of the keys to really rousing tale is the bad guy, the dastardly villain, or to borrow a phrase from Fantasy, the Dark Lord. What kind of Dark Lord would you make, hmmmm?

What are your minions of choice?

Slaves of every kind and description, all of them dangerous.

Beings I have twisted into their worst nightmares, now broken to my will.

My disciples.

Vicious creatures that hide in the dark, but can hunt and kill.

Dupes. Which is to say--everyone.

Violent survivor types with no hope but enough fear to obey me.

Assassins of unique styles and considerable efficiency.

Who is your worst enemy?

The one who has power he cannot comprehend, but which I need.

My disciple (whether he realizes that's what he is yet or not)

Embodiments of life and light.

Doesn't matter. He's dead. I killed him.

Servants of God.

Secret agents with too much luck and far too strong a sex drive to be healthy.

Wizards, lost royal heirs, the usual.

Where do you hang out?

I move around a lot, surrounded at all times by a massive military machine that tends to stay hidden.

In dark places where unholy rituals take place, celebrating death and evil.

Wouldn't you like to know.

I fancy an ornate palace or penthouse, overlooked a panorama of power and devastation. With people to obey me, natch.

The very latest in high-tech hidden headquarters, filled with elaborate death traps and secret passages.

A tower overlooking my kingdom of dark cruelty.

Anywhere I can be alone, but near enough to what I intend to corrupt.

How do you prefer to kill your enemies or prisoner?

Slice open their throats and watch the blood flow (sometimes into my cup).

Two bullets into the head.

Dismemberment is good. So is crucifixion.

Something elaborate and slow, involvinglasers maybe or molten lava.

Don't care. I'll sometimes feed their bodies to my minions, though.

If I'm in the mood, I'll let them kill themselves after I've degraded them long enough.

By having them walk into a fatal trap.

What do you want?

Power. Money. To be feared. To win.

Everybody's soul.

To take over the world, and kill my arch-enemy.

To rule all of creation until the end of time, and maybe after.

To attack and defeat God. Or what pathetic mortals like to call God. I know him. He's even more pathetic than they are.

To rule the galaxy.

To end the corruption called Light forever.

What do you fear?

The chosen ones of my Enemy.

Not being evil enough.

Becoming reduced to little more than a shadow.

Never escaping this loathesome world.

Nothing!

Sunlight.

Becoming known.

Which one word would you use to describe yourself?

Evil

Great

Wise

Victorious

Pure

Mysterious

Terrifying

Who is your bride?

The most beautiful of my enemies. Until I tire of her.

She to whom the idea is most horrible.

I am above such mundane questions.

The most innocent, most pure of princesses.

My wife is dead. I killed her.

The poor girl chosen by prophecy to bear my spawn.

The one of my most trusted lieutenants who happens to be female and the nearest thing to attractive.

Why are you a Dark Lord?

Because I saw the truth.

Because I am the most powerful, most clever of men.

Because it is what I am.

Make up your own story. It'll be as accurate as any other.

You know, I can't recall all the details. Does it matter?

No reason, really. I have a normal family, typical childhood. Its just a career, really, but one I am very suited for.

My master came to me and showed me the way.

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