Rum and Monkey: The Personality Test Generator

This is a user-written personality test created with the Personality Test Generator. Rum and Monkey isn't responsible for its content, however good or bad it may be.

Fucker here means a person who fucks, not someone who fucks people over. This test is just for kicks, so don't be alarmed at your results. And remeber: sexuality lays on a continuum.

What do you wear to bed?

sweatpants, tee shirt, sweatshirt....

underwear

uh... my new silky pajamas/boxers, duh!

nothing.... dark musk oil

sexy, lace slip

leather pants

What's your food of choice?

tripes

Burgers and fries

a big, fat, juicy steak with side of vegetables

foie gras, with stuffed quail and good aged cheese

dark exspensive chocolate

spaghetti, pizza, lasagna

All sorts of ethnic cuisines

You're all alone finally. Your partner/parents/roomates/kids/imaginary friend went out, you...

sleep

fix things around the house

leave the house, you hate being alone and innactive

read, masturbate, organize stuff, do yoga, masturbate, go to a meditation group

watch porn, masturbate, spy on your neighbors, try on freaky outfits, masturbate using all sorts of objects/appliances

do laundry, watch TV, clean out your fridge, jog, do arts and crafts

volunteer, study the bible, stay at home and do nothing

dance naked, flower your plants, read, or surf the net

If you were a material, what would you be?

Cotton: practical and sturdy

Velvet: dressy and pleasant

Silk: soft to the touch and exspensive

Wool: warm and cozy

Leather: sexy and chic, or outrageaous

Mohair: soft, pretty, dressy, casual...

Acrylic: modern and comfortable

All of them

You read...

Magazines, newspapers

3 books at once

the guide to gardening

mystery novels

poetry, especially haiku

porn

world litterature classics

nothing

You encounter an inner conflict, you....

Pray and beg forgiveness for all sins

Deny its existence

Go on a drinking binge

Meditate and reason

Call your best friend and sob

Say "fuck it" and pluck your eyebrows out

therapy or self-help book

To you, sex is....

Necessary for reproduction

Pleasurable and beautiful, a getaway to new experiences

Shameful and forbidden

Normal, just there

Nonexistent

A great way to exspress yourself

An urge,as amatter of fact, you're always horny

Something special and sacred

During a small get together, some your friends end up naked in a hot tub, things seem to be heading towards...

a great night of safe debauchery

a great show for you to watch

i don't wanna know about it

something nasty

that would never happen to me

group sex?? oh shit!

oh, nothing, we're all friends here....

help!!!

If you were to pick a profession, you see yourself as....

sex therapist

morgue attendant

nun/monk

preschool teacher

college football coach

dog trainer

lawyer

painter or photographer

In bed, you consider yourself...

I dunno... normal....

Great, amazing, wonderful!!!

Great, with room to learn

I don't have sex

Evil and dirty

OK, average

It doesn't really matter all that much to me

an artist

Your partner asks to try something new and intimidating, you...

Curl into a ball and cry

Go for it, what the hell...

Agree and tell him/her about YOUR wildest fantasy

You don't have a partner/ he /she would never ask anything of the sort

reluctantly meet your partner half way

"what the fuck, are you crazy??"

"honey, i don't think it's a good idea... i'm so sorry"

exploit him/her by making him/her feel guilty about it

You go out on a special, long awaited date with your special someone. What happens?

dinner, walk, drinks, maybe some sex

oil massage, aphrodisiac dinner, a bottle of red wine or champagne, a night of sex

you run off to a random city and get a hotel room

anything romantic

drinking moonshine on the roof before copulating on the bathroom floor

homemade dinner, nice conversation by the fireplace, holding hands

you have a few drinks downtown, maybe do something out of the ordinary, come home tired but satisfied

museums, coffee in a cozy coffee shop, stimulating talk, then sushi for dinner, maybe going to a poetry reading, then drinks and a night of love making

You're doing it, what noises come out of your room?

.....................................................

mmmmmmmmmm.........hush, be quiet

oh yeah fuck me harder!!! yeah right there ! oh i love your (body part in question)!!!

uh... oh.... yeah, baby, come on!

more more more more don't stop!!!!!!

take it bitch, get on your knees, you dirty skank

i love you, i missed your body.....

DON'T BE SCARED, COME HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Having sex without a shower on a hot summer day is....

Yikes!

OK, since you love the other person

depends with whom

special and new

all you've ever asked for

unacceptable

you always take showers on hot summer day

The smell of your lover's body is....

important and stimulating

rotten

like perfume/cologne

natural, and you love it

neutral, and it doesn't matter

turns you on no matter what

Bisexuality/homosexuality is.....

Normal

Inside of all of us

Shameful and unacceptable

a social construct

I don't know...

just as valid as heterosexuality

what my neighbors do...

What do you think of porn?

It's horrible and nasty

It's a sin

I like it

Use it sometimes

As long as it's not kids or animals or rape, i don't mind it

something only men use

my life...

useful to turn us on during sex, or when masturbating

Finally, the last question... you best describe yourself as ....

honey

a mountain

razor blade

a caribbean beach

a dark room

a tree

a candle

a house

And finnaly... one last question: what "animal" are you?

Crocodile

Swan

Cheetah

Schistosoma Heamatobium

Lion

Cat

Rabbit

Silverback Gorilla

What kind of fucker are you?