The Amazing Beer-O-Matic™
You're a nice, wholesome person. You strive to make yourself better, and mostly, you succeed; you're doing pretty well, when it comes down to it, although sometimes you don't give yourself the credit you deserve. But there's one thing, deep down, that bugs you. It drives you crazy, and you won't be able to rest until you discover it. It's like a quest; a God-given mission to acquire knowledge and power.
You need to know your weight in beer, you big alcoholic. Specifically, you want to know how many glasses of the brown stuff you would need to down for you to actually have drunk yourself.
Wonder no longer; help is at hand. Just fill in the following details and our incredibly sophisticated Beer-O-Matic™ technology will fill you in. So to speak.