Which One of My Books Do You Most Resemble?

I happen to have hundreds of books just lying around, and each one has its own distinct personality. Answer these questions to find out which one of my dusty tomes you most resemble.

Get started with these questions...

1

Do you have any clue what the word "ablative" means?

I don't really understand anything besides math and computers, sorry.

Scheiße! *mumble*

No, but I have a clue where you'd like to spend the night, sweetheart.

I'm so lost.

No...but if it's evil, I'll destroy it for you!

Of course I do, you twit. I am educated, after all.

2

Have you murdered and/or been a witness to the murder of a dog recently?

Yes, I had my slave kill a most odious pooch the other day.

That's what I've been trying to telling you!

Der Hund? Nein.

Sounds kinky.

Yes, but I apologized, didn't I?

What! Sounds like something You-Know-Who would do...

3

If you could own any type of vehicle, what would it be?

A chariot, most definitely.

I usually just ride my bike, and that's all I need.

A Volkswagen, ja!

I have my quick feet to get me around, thank you very much.

Space ship.

I usually just use floo powder.

4

Do you find yourself appearing in court regularly?

I *invented* the court, you nit-wit!

Well, no, but *someone* should...they killed that dog!

We already paid our war reparations, swine!

Sadly, yes. But I always dig my way out somehow.

Court? Not really...do they have those on Venus?

I did once. And it was a load of shite.

5

Are you British?

Those heathens? I should think not. We conquered their butts.

Yeah.

English pig-dogs! Swine! Bastards!

I turn my nose up at them.

'Course I am, you bloody plonker.

Yup, and so are all me mates.

6

Has anything ever inexplicably broken when you're angry?

If I get angry, I don't wait for things to break. I break them myself.

You actually believe that paranormal magic crap? Give me a break.

Things break all the time, wherever I go.

No, but I'm good at breakin' hearts, baby.

Oh, I guess that would explain the trail of debris behind me...

Yes. I've always wondered about that. I always thought it was my imagination.

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