The Umberto Eco Personality Sorter

In Foucault's Pendulum (clicky!), Umberto Eco describes four kinds of people:
cretin,
fool,
moron,
lunatic.
Take this handy-dandy test to find out which one you are!

{Dottore Eco, se leggete mai questo, rispettosamente, questo è un omaggio.}

Get started with these questions...

1

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

MONGO HUNGRY

No eggs, please; they make me flatulent.

Not all eggs come from chickens.

I refuse to respond until you confirm that both are 100% organic and free-range.

2

Is the glass half empty or half full?

MONGO THIRSTY

Not every worldview is based on a moral dichotomy.

I say, is that the glass I left my teeth in?

You damn well better recycle that glass, motherfucker.

3

What is the meaning of life?

Whatever you put into it. Ergo, anyone who always does right will necessarily lead a comfortable, happy, fulfilled life. The plebian version is reaping what one sows.

LIFE IS PAIN!!! LIFE IS DEATH!!! WE'RE KILLING THE EARTH!!

WANT PUPPY

The cereal or the magazine?

4

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

BRAIN HURTS

I had the clap once, although I didn't get it from just the one hand.

Please, Bart Simpson answered that question, like, twenty years ago.

Dammit, I wanted the tree-falling-in-the-woods question!!! GIMME THE FUCKING TREE-FALLING-IN-THE WOODS QUESTION!!!!

This is a user-written post. Rum and Monkey isn't responsible for its content, however good it may be. Please report any inappropriate content.