The definitive ACF pervert test

Ladies and Gentlemen of The Forum. You asked for it and you've got it, I'm very much afraid; the definitive ACF pervert test, created by a select panel of some of the kinkiest, most deviant individuals ever to have cocked a leg over a bicycle. Enjoy.

Get started with these questions...

1

Are you now, or have you ever been a practicing vegetable abuser?

2

Does the word "mojo"mean...

3

Would the phrase "strapping it on" conjure up images of...

4

Have you ever been involved in a sexual act with more than one individual at a time?

5

Have you ever an encounter with a person of the opposite gender to your usual preference?

6

Have you ever attended a public school?

7

Do you find the thought of causing pain to your partner in any way offensive?

8

Have you ever found the smell of Proofide arousing

9

When riding along cobbled streets, do you...

10

Have you ever felt a frisson of excitement when wearing nothing but Lycra in a public place?

11

Do your family know of your obsession with rubber and chains?

12

What product do you find best for lubricating nipples?

13

What is the appropriate attire for bicycle maintenance?

14

Do you find any erotic potential in any of the following commonly found items of kitchenalia...

15

If you have any body piercings, are they just for aesthetic purposes?

16

How much pleasure do you derive from dressing in the clothes of the opposite gender?

17

Does the sensation of pain add to your erotic experience at all?

18

Have you or your partner ever indulged in any role playing during sex?

19

When presented with a large, steaming jug of sweet, rich custard, do you...

20

On average, how often do you think about sex?

21

Have you had sex in any of the following venues...

22

Do you like being tied up?

23

Do you own any insertable sex toys?

24

If a forensic seach was to be done on your hard drive, would it discover much pornography?

25

Have you ever seduced a doorstepper?

26

How many partners have you had?

27

If someone uses the word 'fisting,' do you think it means...

28

Have you ever had electrodes attached to any part of your body?

29

When I go shoe shopping, I look for...

30

Corsets: a breathtaking experience?

31

If a friend told you they were off to Pony Club, what would spring to mind?

32

Do you find Santa Claus attractive in any way?

33

Does paraphilic infantilism mean anything to you?

34

Is there any place for candles in the bedroom?

35

Have you ever appeared in a video?

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