Which 70's Rock Star Are You?

This is the Cannock Chase Panther's quiz. Its not as stupid as other wank quizes. There will be proper analytical questions, and not crap ones like "Do you like great big boots and ginger sideburns" which will obviously score you as Noddy Holder.
Anyway, do it, find out who you are.

Get started with these questions...

1

So, do you like great big boots and ginger sideburns?

Yes!

No!

Fuck off.

Are you single?

I thought you weren't going to ask shit questions?

If I put 'yes' am I going to be Noddy Holder, no matter what I answer later in the quiz?

2

Okay then, lets get serious. Which of the following Chord Progressions would make the best chorus riff?

F, G, Am, F, G, Am

E, A, E, B, A, E

Ab7thdim5th, Eaug, Fmaj7dim5, A13thaug5dim

A, E

A, G, F, E

3

If some Muckers are Truckers, and all Truckers are Fuckers, then it is logical that All Muckers are Fuckers. Agree?

Yes

No

My Mom's a Trucker, and I fuck her!

4

Is it acceptable to dress up as Hitler?

No

No! Thats Sick!!

I AM Hitler

No...well maybe yes, if its a fancy dress party

Yes

5

Which of the following is most important to a band or Artist's success

The music - Songs sell records.

Image - You don't get ugly or plain cunts of Top Of The Pops

Artistic Virtue - People want music that pushes the boundaries

I fucking don't give a fuck!

6

Who is the biggest wanker in Music right now?

Bono

Mariah Carey

Pete Doherty

Elton John

Chris Martin

Paul Mcartney

7

If you could join any band, which of the following would you join?

Radiohead

Oasis

Slipknot

Selfish Cunt

Arcade Fire

S Club Juniors

The Bravery

Wolfmother

8

Its time to buy a guitar. Which of the following will you have?

I'll have a nice chunky sounding Les Paul

I'll have clean sounding Stratocaster

I'll have any battered old thing to be fair...

I'll have that outrageously sparkly one will lights and stuff on it.

I'll have that ivory coloured jewell of an instrument

I'll have that black one with skulls painted on

I'll have an accoustic please

Can i have loads of effects pedals with mine?

Can i have a piano intead?

9

Here's an abstract psychological one. Time is best represented by which analogy?

A river coursing through a forrest

A piece of string

A snake moving through an endless desert

Quicksand

A planet orbiting the sun

An endless ocean, stretching out in all directions

A bubble, floating within a bubble, being pushed through a hyperderic needle

Like a big clock what never breaks

10

If you were George W Bush, which country would you nuke first?

Iran

North Korea

Russia

USA

Antarctica

Germany

11

You find a burglar in your home, do you...?

Call the police and hide in the wardrobe

call the police, then tackle the scoundrell and wait for the cops to come.

Cut his fucking ears off and stamp on his head a few times

I'd shoot him, I have a gun.

Keep him captive in the basement

Bum him

Quickly invent and assemble some 'Home Alone' style booby traps

Shout 'MOMMY!!!'

12

Think of a Chair. Picture it in your head........what colour is it?

Black

Brown

White

Cream

Blue

Red

Green

Pink

13

What was the best thing to come out of the 60's?

Fab Clothes

Drugs!

Sexual liberation

Mods!

Sexual liberation

Chomsky

The prolifaration and influence of black music into mainstream culture

The England football team.

Me.

14

It election time. Who are you voting for?

Labour

Conservative

Liberals

Green

Some obscure socialist party

I'm starting my own Nazi party

What is vote?

None of those fucking cunts.

Ain't we got one o' them there Republican parties?

15

Which would be best?

An international Stadium tour!!

An arena tour of some cool cities

A tour playing live sets at the hottest discoes

An international stadium tour with groundbreaking pyrotechnics and light displays

A four year residence in a Vegas theatre

A one of gig to save the world and feed my ego

A tour of sweaty dark basement clubs

Anything as long as i can be one of michael jacksons dancers!!

16

Which would be the worst scenario at one of your gigs?

My amp has blown up and set fire to my costume!

My wretched piano is out of tune!

My wrestched piano is out of tune and there are only 9000 red roses in my dressing room! I specifically asked for fucking 10000!!!

I have died quite some time before the gig

I cant seem to get the effects levels right, and the lightshow is a whole millisecond out of sync with the music

Nobodies killing anything!

Some fucking cunt has thrown a pint of piss in my face!

I have cramp in my wrist

The police have turned up to arrest me

17

There are a bunch of groupies outside your hotel, vying for your attention. Which do you take back to your hotel?

The well proportioned blonde one of course!

The pretty elfin faced one

The one who'se as fucking wrecked as I am

The intelectual looking one (ie wearing glasses)

The black islamic lesbian midget amputee in a wheelchair

The one who is obviously a man in drag

The pre-pubescent oriental looking one.

The one thats passed out on the floor who you saw moshing like a cunt earlier

The 'it' girl, with class. you know that she knows how to look after a rock star.

18

What will be your next addition to your rock star's fleet of cars?

A Jag, E-type.

A Rolls Royce

Aston Martin

A Hearse

Mini

Bentley

Cadilac

A Volvo with space to put bags of sweets, and room in the back for puppies, and room in the boot for, erm, erm, stuff.

Who gives a fuck?!

Stretch limo

19

What's your favorite time of year?

Christmas!

My birthday

Summer

Autumn

Spring

Winter

Halloween

Every day, at about 3.30pm

20

If you were an animal, what would you be?

A lion!

Horse

Bat

Gerbil

Dog

Cat

Eagle

Animals are cunts.

21

Choose your weapon of self destruction...

Bottle of Jack

Needle

Spliff

Poppers

Barrel of mild

AIDS

Food

Blood

Fast car

A bumming in a Vietnamese jail

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