Which Morrowind character are you?

So, if you're on this test I know you play MORROWIND way too much, and know a sick amount of stupid facts about the game, some of the characters, and all the great things in this all-encompassing game. So, which character are you?

Get started with these questions...

1

Where is your place of residence?

Balmora, with a huge canal to pee in.

Senya Need- where it rains men right in your back yard.

Suran- bring on the sexy dancers!

Vivec. I enjoy being segregated.

Ebonheart, because that guy on the dock has an awesome helmet with horns.

Red Mountain, where it's warm and has plenty of old men... like Florida!

2

OK, standard dork RPG player question: which character do you play?

WARRIOR! I'll kick the shit out of them all!

MAGE! I will finally become powerful at level 82!

STEALTH! I sneak around so I can peek into little boys rooms.

3

Alright smarty pants, which House do you enjoy visiting at Christmas?

House Hlaalu, the true hustler's house, fo sho.

House Telvanni, because mushrooms are so trippy I wanna live in one!

House Redoran, cause that's the house He-Man would choose if he wasn't a homosexual.

4

Honestly, did you talk to that silent girl in the hut when you went on the quest to gain Azura's Star?

Hell yes, and then I had to reload my last game. Stupid broad.

No, I followed Azura's plan perfectly and always chew with my mouth shut.

No, idiot- I read on the message boards that the quest doesn't work if you talk to her. Duh.

5

Half way there, folks. You feel that the first Temple quest, the Pilgrimage of the 7 Graces is:

A good way to get to know the land of Morrowind at a low level.

A good way to get killed in the land of Morrowind at a low level.

Probably the most boring thing I did since trying to swim across the sea to reach the mainland.

The Temple is for nerds and Republicans.

6

How do you feel about getting expelled from your guild/house?

It's fun to do it once to see what happens.

Houses and guilds are for suckas.

I kill and steal everything so I am often on the out-and-out with my guild/house.

What?!? Are you crazy?!? That's not good RPG playing! Stay the course man!

7

Opinion on vampires?

Vampirism brings a unique perspective to the game, not to mention being a staple of The Elder Scrolls Series, and other goody-good answers.

It gives you power- ULTIMATE POWER, but with no sun tan.

Ummm, no one will talk to me or transport me or give me quests except these stupid other people in my goth-like Vampire Clan.

It satisfies my years of yearning to actually becoming a real vampire, without the bite marks or eternal damnation.

What are you talking about? You can be a vampire? Why didn't anyone tell me!

8

Controversy time: male or female avatar?

I am a male in prison, playing a female, because it's as close to a real one as I can get.

I am a male, playing a male, because we are strong and hairy

I am a male, playing a female, because they are hot, fun to look at, and don't nag like real women.

I am a female, playing a male, because we women are quite whiny.

I am a female, playing a female, because boys smell.

9

Real question this time: Sugar-Lips Habasi asks you to steal a diamond from Nalcarya the Alchemist and bring it back to him. You:

Sneak into the guys house, pick the lock, take the diamond, and shut the door behind you, not even leaving a fart behind.

Bust open the front door, kill Nalcarya, take the diamond, loot the house, clog up the toilet.

Open the door, say hello to Nalcarya, take the diamond in plain sight, run for your life, and go and cry to Sugar-Lips and beg him to clear the bounty on your head.

Like a real person, I would walk next door and buy a diamond from a dealer legally, give it to Sugar Lips, and not take any chances... or have any fun.

10

Last question tough guy: khajit women are a little hot, right?

Yeah they kinda are, but don't tell anyone I said that.

No! That's beastiality, which is illegal in 49 states (all except Missouri).

They were hotter in Daggerfall. Also, Captain Jean Luc-Picard was the better Starfleet Commander. And, yes, I am a nerd.

I make my girlfriend dress up as one on special occasions.

This is a user-written post. Rum and Monkey isn't responsible for its content, however good it may be. Please report any inappropriate content.