Da nickname generator if you would be awesome

Yo bliatch!!!! I have some pretty cool friends. Now, unfortunately, you are not one of them, however, if you were, what would your name not, but would be?

I thought I should share this joy with the world. So, just like new mothers with annoying stories of their baby's first word which was actually meaningless syllables they happened to gurgle together to make a "word", I will share with you this soon-to-be pasttime.