What Type of “English” Are You?

Although the Brits settled all across the world and their descendants still speak English, cultures have greatly grown apart, resulting in weird usage of the original language and even weirder customs. Let’s see what type of “English” you are.

Get started with these questions...

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1

How do you look out for your friends?

I always look out for my friends

As long as they belong to my social group, I will look out for them

Looking out for people is not my job, but the government’s

Nah – everyone should look out for themselves

2

How patriotic are you?

I take the flag out at every occasion and know our anthem backwards and forwards

I don’t sing the anthem – that’s what large brass bands are for

Can’t bother to sing the anthem – not too sure how it goes

Beer is king!

3

Pick a flavor:

Walkers Prawn Cocktail

Lays Chicken & Waffles

Lays Maple Moose

Doritos Nacho Cheese

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4

What Sports do you watch?

Hockey, hockey and hockey!

Cricket, soccer and rugby

Football, baseball and basketball

It doesn’t matter which sport we play, we always beat the other English-speaking countries

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5

How Good is your English?

My spelling is British but I pronounce words the American way

I add a heavy accent to everything to try and get laid

Apparently my spelling is a bit off

Foreigners struggle to understand my pronunciation

6

What do you put on your toast?

Vegemite

Baked beans

Bacon and eggs

Butter and maple syrup

7

How Does Shopping Work In Your Country?

We live on an island, which is why a lot of goods are imported

We do our shopping in the backwards country across our southern border to get find cheap goods, liquor and gas

8

How Do You Drink Your Beer?

I drink weak, pissy-tasting beer

I drink warm, beery-tasting piss

I drink anything that contains alcohol

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9

What Are Your Views on Wealth and Success?

Failure and poverty are morally suspect

Wealth, success, poverty and failure are inherited

Wealth and success are morally suspect

None of this matters as long as you have beer

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