Increase the value of your home using these 4 simple techniques

Get your lawn repaired the quick and easy way.

Anonymously inform the police that there may be the carefully hidden remains of a triple homicide in your back yard. They’ll be over in no time to dig it up and replant the whole thing!

Invite a drug-addled waning celebrity to visit, and wait for them to die.

AEG will be falling over themselves to profit from the hordes of weeping visitors in no time.

Strike used fryer oil.

It doesn’t matter that the oil well you’ve found is actually the decomposing remains of decades of heart-crushing fried food. Reclaimed grease is a commodity these days, and imagine the energy companies’ glee upon their discovery of a natural field of the stuff! All that energy without the need for a KFC bargain bucket first! Trust us, it’s a gold mine.

Convince Paul McCartney to marry it.

After all, it is semi-detached.

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