INT - COFFEE SHOP. MORNING.
Huaaargh and Grrrzhh are sitting at a booth. Huaaargh is eating a massive pile of pancakes and bovine excrement, which seems to have been seasoned with some kind of fungal infection. He wolfs it down. Grrrzhh, however, has decided to satisfy himself with a simple cup of faeces and a rancid spleen; we can see in his seventeen eyes that he's daydreaming. Perhaps thinking of a new day. The waitress comes by and shits a refill into their cups.
HUAAARGH
Thank you, dear. That's lovely.
to Grrrzhh, who isn't
even drinking his shit:
Hey, want some pancake?
GRRRZHH
No dude. I don't eat pancake.
HUAAARGH
Are you on a diet?
GRRRZHH
No man, I just don't dig on pancake,
that's all.
HUAAARGH
Why not?
GRRRZHH
They human food. I don't eat human
food.
HUAAARGH
Crepes taste good. Bleenies taste
good.
GRRRZHH
Pumpkin pie might taste like sewer
rat, but I wouldn't know 'cause I
wouldn't eat the disgusting
motherfucker. Humans eat Twinkies
and SPAM™ - that's a disgusting
fucking diet. I don't wanna eat
nothin' that ain't got sense enough
to disregard a fuckin' Twinkie.
HUAAARGH
How about Christians? Christians eat
Twinkies.
GRRRZHH
I ain't gonna eat a Christian.
HUAAARGH
Yes, but would you consider a
Christian to have a filthy fuckin'
diet?
GRRRZHH
I wouldn't go so far as to call their
diet filthy, but they're definitely
detestible little creeps anyway. And
that goes a long way.
HUAAARGH
So by that rationale, if all humans
were detestible little creeps, their
diets wouldn't be filthy, and you'd
eat their pancakes?
GRRRZHH
We'd have to be talkin' about one
detestible motherfuckin' human here.
I'm not talkin' about that Clinton
guy you see on CNN. It'd have to be
the Dark Evil Zghhrerrrrr of humans,
you know what I'm saying?
Both monsters laugh, spreading
entrails everywhere.
