America Loses State

World leaders around the world expressed mild surprise and sneering bemusement today when Governor John Ellis "Jeb" Bush announced that Florida would be seceding from the United States of America.

"It is time the sunshine state took its rightful place on the world stage," said the governor at a press conference outside the United Nations building in New York. "And the abortionists will find no home in the nation of Florida."

Bush, 49, is to become the ‘Grand High Vizier’ of the newly formed ‘Democratic Republic of Florida,’ with important governmental positions to be filled by "those who voted right when I was put in office, if you know what I mean." Local artist ‘Bear’ Walton has been commissioned to design a flag and a committee is to be set up to decide whether Willie Nelson or Billy Ray Cyrus will write the national anthem. Tallahassee will remain the capital but it will be renamed ‘Bushington’.

Reactions in Washington have been mixed, with one Republican senator calling the move "Un-American" and another asking "If today we lose Florida what do we lose tomorrow? Mexico?" Others have been more positive and Governor Don Siegelman of Alabama told reporters "Good riddance to them, eh? Do you think they could take Georgia with them, eh?"

Governor Bush has denied remarks made by some politicians that the creation of the new republic is linked to a falling out between him and his brother, President George W. Bush. "Florida has its own beautiful and unique history, its own traditions and legal system, its own language. These are the reasons we deserve independence- not because of any family problems created by the media to sell newspapers," said Bush (variant Jeb). "But if you do see that prick when you’re in Washington you tell him that before he calls my daughter an addict he better put his own house in order first. And there’s only one Stepford wife in the Bush family and her name aint Columba."

The president has so far been unavailable for comment although Whitehouse spokesmen have revealed that Florida is to be added to the ‘Axis of Evil’. They have also said that the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland will become an American state "so as we don’t have to knock a star off the flag."

What do you think, did we get it right? Comment here...