Settling the Score

Reports flooded the newspapers last week of supposed brutal acts of violence committed by US troops during the recent conflict in Afghanistan. Snapped and twisted arms and legs, dark and ominous bruising, cuts disfiguring faces and torsos, all were held up as damning evidence of manifest American savagery. All of these horrible acts of psychotic atrocity, we read, were committed on soldiers not even affiliated with the two-headed beast-monster of Taleban and Al-Qaeda, but upon members of the virtuous Northern Alliance, who were mistaken for evil by the GIs because of their swarthy complexions and copious facial hair. Some wore disturbing hats, it was reported. Another recent addition to the crop of liberal hand-wringing involved the return to Britain of two paratroopers who had, under the impression that they were being attacked by Osama bin-Laden in person, let loose a barrage of bullets which killed one man and penetrated a pregnant lady. Will the madness never end? Don’t make me laugh.

I think it is time that the leftist media took a long, stringent look at themselves. Despite being proved wrong conclusively, finally, and irrevocably by the bloody death massacre of September The Eleventh, and the dark Muslim cloud of Bovine Anthrax which was released as brave firemen lay dead, they still insist on whinging unpatriotically about events happening on the other side of the world. Don’t they know there’s a war on? Do they need to be told again? Moral pant-wetting of this sort would not be tolerated in any other country and I think it is to Tony Blair’s shame that he permits it here.

To a certain extent I can see where these people are coming from. Nobody likes to see the hearts and bowels of strangers, no matter how brown, spread like red butter over rocks and sand. But their spurious opinions are based upon a fundamental misconception of the Arab, and thus Muslim, mind. Deceit, lying and rampant sexual perversion are as natural to the Arab as porridge is to the Scotchman. Any casual visitor to a Middle-Eastern country will notice- before anything else- the Mohammedan’s shifty eyes and intense desire to touch and molest. This can be disconcerting to a man without a stick. If you ask an Arab his name the first three answers he gives you will be false. The next name he will use with his friends but it is also a fake. His family know him by a fifth name but this too is a mask for his actual title which he only uses when conversing with Allah. Allah is also a pseudonym. The Arab woman is kept in servitude by the Arab man, inside a dark blue camouflage tent, but this is advantageous to Arab society as they are all hideously deformed. It is also a known fact that when removed from these body scarves Arab women are prone to uncontrollable libidinal outbursts, peppering the streets with disgusting flauntings of flesh and other things and obscene songs learned from Norwegian sailors. The sight can be shocking, even to a man of the world.

As if this looming menace perched upon the shoulder of Western Civilisation wasn’t enough to stay the pens of the apologists we now have to cope with the new menace of freedom-slaying terror-tactics. These people are evil, cruel, savage. One of the prisoners recently confined in Guantanamo Bay, I am told, removed one of his own testicles in an attempt to fashion a crude strangulation wire from the tangle of veins inside his scrotum. This is a deranged race, fed on goat meat and loud, hypnotic, arrhythmic music, hell-bent on the destruction of our way of life. How else are we meant to deal with these urine-guzzling, rat-eating, death-hungry dissidents without the breaking of arms and legs, the shooting of pregnant women, the occasional bombing of a hospital for mentally disadvantaged children? I laugh heartily when each new report comes in as I know that each death is another step on the ladder which will restore freedom, democracy and peace. And if George W. Bush is a confused, language-mangling buffoon who cannot eat a savoury snack without toppling and punctuating his face then so be it. He is our confused, language-mangling buffoon and we should hold him up as a shining emblem of everything we stand for.

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