Rum and Monkey: The Personality Test Generator

This is a user-written personality test created with the Personality Test Generator. Rum and Monkey isn't responsible for its content, however good or bad it may be.

How many hit dice do you have? Now's your chance to find out in the brand-spanking new, fantastic, much-awaited, eagerly anticipated, spectaclular "Which Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Monster Are You?" piece of bullshit. Woo-Hoo!!

First and foremost, have you ever destroyed a village?

No. I never leave the dungeon.

I haven't, but I snuck into a blacksmith's shop one time during the night and turned everything to rust and then I ate the rust.

Have I ever? It's part of my daily routine, you pathetic fleshling.

Yes, under the command of an evil cleric.

Yes, with the help of my tribe.

Yes, but I was really really hungry.

No.

Yes.

Do you have a breath weapon?

I don't know what you mean.

Only when I've just gotten up, before I brush my teeth.

Yes, let me demonstrate.

No.

I don't breathe.

Out of the following list, what's you favorite food?

Brains.

Blood.

Any piece of flesh will do, medium rare.

I prefer a level 30+ Paladin, charred to a crisp.

A mound of dirt and offal.

Rust.

I would consider several mounds of gold pieces, a suit of armor, and any biped or animal a balanced meal.

Whatever moves.

I don't need to eat.

What color is your skin?

Purple or dark blue or somewhere in between.

Green.

Brown.

Red with yucky spots.

I have scales, not skin, fool.

I have a carapace.

I don't have any skin.

Most of my skin fell off.

It's pale.

Which of the following would most intimidate you?

A big guy with a lot of armor and a big sword.

A large group of powerful wizards.

A cleric. Any cleric.

A pointy stick.

Fire.

Sunlight.

I know no fear.

Im to dum to no feer.

Which brings us to the next question: which of the following statements best describes your intelligence?

Iv met roks smrter then me

I'm about on the level of a dog.

About average.

I like to use big words when I can. For example, when I'm describing to other monsters what kind of adventurers I've devoured recently, I'll use the word "masticate" instead of chew.

I cast eighth level spells. Enough said.

How many adventurers have you killed in the past week?

I'm going to have to skip this question.

One or two.

Three to five.

Six to nine.

Ten or more.

I usually count by the number of parties of adventurers that I've killed, thank you very much.

And finally, what kind of treasure do you have?

Swords, spears, some patchwork armor, and a sack of coins.

Gems.

Gems and coins.

Gems, coins, jewelry, magic items, and a few rare artifacts.

Whatever you find inside of me.

I don't have any treasure.

Rust.

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