Rum and Monkey

Get on the phone and call someone just to bitch them out

Drive? I can't drive!

Pull over to fix your makeup. If your going to be lost, your going to be lost in style!

Nod and acknowledge that everything is going to be ok.

Ask for directions.

Laugh at your wife because she told you to stop and ask for directions. Your a man, and women just have no sense of direction.

Pretend that you never made the trip, turn around and go home.

You just dont know. You really, really just dont know.

Question

Your driving on the highway when you notice your tank is extremely low on gas. You still have six miles to go. What do you do?

Punch it and go! If your running out, your running out dying.

Get on the phone and call someone because you dont think your going to make it.

Pray to god you make it because you dont think your going to.

What are you talking about? I can't drive. Bia-Bia!

Stop and get gas because it would make sense to do so!

Question

Your dream job is......?

Having sex 10 times in a row!

Having sex, fixing my make up, doing it again and then telling the guy he cant sleep over and to get his ass home!

Snacking on everything in the refrigerator.

Sitting at home doing absolutely nothing.

Leading Michigan to a national championship....on PS2.

Question

What do you like to do in your spare time?

Talk to all my friends on the computer even though i have no intention of seeing them

Watch Ice Age! And then Ice Age 2! And then Spongebob!

Look totally cute for everyone

Paint my newphew's fingernails.

Make my niece cook dinner

PS2, 24/7!

I like to act totally sophisticated, with my chin and head held up high as if nothing is wrong.

Who gives a shit!

Question

Your watching college football on TV. Who do you root for?

The underdog

Who do we want to win?

I dont watch College Football.

Eeww, who infected my tv with sports?

It depends on the situation, really!

Who cares, it's college ball!

I dont know anything about college ball so I couldnt tell you!

Do I look fat in these jeans?

Question

You would have stayed up all night, had you known

How to save a Life!

Um...ok....I think its a song...

I'm sucking at this

Where you were staying

mom, mom, mom, hahaha, no!

Do I bang her now....or later....hmm....

Question

Your peeing when you hear a voice telling you to go right. Casually, you

Dismiss the voice! Your 40+ something, and you dont need your 19 year old nephew telling you your getting old.

Go left, just to piss the voice off.

Call your best friend and tell him what just happened for shits and giggles.

When you pee on the toilet, you have to pee backwards

Go right. This is a spirit, and you dont mess with spirits.

Go backwards so you can make a mess AND piss the voice off.

Call your husband into the room. Tell him what happened so he can tell you your hearing things.

Question

Your deepest fear is......

Wether or not I will look good in these jeans

My two songs growing up to be gay!

Wether or not Mark did laundry this morning.

How many boys my daughter will have over next summer

Is John even listening to me? Cuz I am talking to him.

Did mom forget to make dinner today?

What the hell is going on?

Question

Your favorite kind of drink is definetly...

Anything non-alcoholic

Anything alcoholic

Anything my mom gets me

Pepsi

Mountain Dew

Water

Sky Blue

Mikes Hard Lemonade

Question

Your news years resolution can best be described as...?

Making John's life a living hell!

I want John to wear my pants

Wear did my make up go? John, get my purse!

I think that...it's snack time! Where are my parents at?

To go undefeated....on PS2!

Get a perfect score on Guitar hero!

Make John fall in love with me!

Save money!

Question

Your significant other would most likely look like...

Bald, fat, and a wad full of money.

Tom Cruise!

I'm only two! What significant other?

Someone rugged, charming or handsome!

She has to fit me!

I'm thinking....Lucas Scott?

I'm thinking...Nathan Scott?

Question

Your dream car is a....?

I already have my dream car!

I have to own a truck!

A dodge Viper!

Something.....Pontiac-ish!

I can't drive damn it!

Anything that costs over $100,000!

Something old....like really old..something only old timers would appreciate!

Question

You stub your toe on something....naturally, you...

Tell your kids to stomp on it

Call your mom and ask what to do

It's just a little bit of blood, who cares?

Ignore it and hope it will go away

Calmy, casually reach for the peroxide and a bandaid

Dance and perform some kind of indian ritual

Cry your little blue eyes out

Question

What's your favorite "John" moment?

Him telling half of the store that my kid belongs to him

The time he freaked out when he was going to hit my car so he swerved to hit a tree instead

My dream of him...and fried catlips

The time he got drunk and puked...all over the sidewalk

I can't remember off the top of my head

The time he took me to work, then rushed to drop me off and punched back in just in time to not get caught

It's John...we have those moments daily..deal with them

John, your such a dork!

Question

If could buy John anything, it would be......?

A brain!

Common Sense!

Z...O....L....O....F....T!

A perkiset

Something red.....and sexy!

Something black....and gothic!

Earplugs!

Question

My views on friends are...?

They were there in high school, but now they sort of went off and disappeared

I have the best in the world!

We have our times...and our "no so good" times...what can I say, we're friends!

What are friends?

I've got my mom and dad that's all I need

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend, somewhere along in the bitterness!

I have good ones and then some associates.

Friends aren't really my cup of tea!

This is a user-written post. Rum and Monkey isn't responsible for its content, however good it may be. Please report any inappropriate content.

What are you to John?

Get started with these questions...

Your driving down the road when you suddenly realize your lost. What do you do?

Your driving on the highway when you notice your tank is extremely low on gas. You still have six miles to go. What do you do?

Your dream job is......?

What do you like to do in your spare time?

Your watching college football on TV. Who do you root for?

You would have stayed up all night, had you known

Your peeing when you hear a voice telling you to go right. Casually, you

Your deepest fear is......

Your favorite kind of drink is definetly...

Your news years resolution can best be described as...?

Your significant other would most likely look like...

Your dream car is a....?

You stub your toe on something....naturally, you...

What's your favorite "John" moment?

If could buy John anything, it would be......?

My views on friends are...?

What do you think, did we get it right? Comment here...

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