The Religion Test (Not The Original)

Like many before me, I attempt to give you your perfect religion.

Get started with these questions...

1

What are your views on God?

Who?

Muhammad was his prophet.

His son was Jesus.

OH MY GOD THE ALIENS!!!!!!!

Which one?

He is kind and benevolent.

Many gods reside in nature.

2

There is no god.

HEATHEN! NON-BELIEVER!

Yes there is.

There are many.

Right you are!

BUT THERE ARE ALIENS!!!!!!

There is, Muhammad is his prophet.

In nature, there is.

3

Do you believe in hell?

Yes.

Yes, but it is not eternal.

ALIENS I TELL YOU!!!!!

No.

No, we are reborn until we reach nirvana.

4

Where does your religion originate?

Mid-East.

Around India.

Japan and/or China.

Nowhere, really.

ALIENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNS!!!!

5

There's a homeless man on the street, you walk by him, what do you do?

Tell him to get a job.

Pray for him.

Give him some money.

Meditate when you get home, maybe help him out.

Hope the god of money helps him out.

Preach to him about aliens and Xenu and all that crap.

Fulfill one of the five pillars and give him some money or food.

6

What is your stereotype that is not necessarily true?

I pray to about 800 gods.

I am always good with money.

I hate god.

I'm a nutjob named Tom Cruise.

I'm a terrorist.

I will go door to door preaching about Jesus and annoying people.

I'm obsessed with nature.

7

Are you impatient with other religions?

You mean the non-believers?

No, to each his own.

They'll just be reborn until they realize the true path.

No.

ALIENS!!!!!!!!

8

Two men walk down the street hand-in-hand, what is your response?

They'll burn in hell.

To each his own.

ALIENSSSS!!!!!!

9

Are you known for burning non-believers at the stake?

Of course!

We're known for BEING burned at the stake.

No.

ALIENS!

10

Mel Gibson...

Is holy!

Hates us.

Who?

Is a weirdo.

A-L-I-E-N-S!!!!!

11

Who spread your religion?

Jesus.

Abraham.

No one.

Muhammad.

L. Ron Hubbard.

Other.

12

Who do you pray to?

Allah.

God.

Many gods.

I don't.

Xenu.

13

Were you the cause of the Spanish Inquisition?

Yes, those were the good ole' days.

No.

ALIENS WERE THE CAUSE!!!!

14

What religion are you currently?

Christian/Catholic.

Jewish.

Hindu.

Shinto.

Muslim.

Atheist.