Rum and Monkey

I hide behind a car and watch her, giggling.

I ride by in my Caddy and say, "ey, momz."

I through a can at her head.

I run over and help her, then ask her if she wants to smoke with me.

Run away screaming because of the horrible deterioration of the human race that occurs with age.

I calmly approach her, then shake her vigorously.

Question

What adjective would you use to best describe yourself?

I am very misunderstood.

I am very observant.

I am very lively.

I am very cultured.

I am very disfunctional.

I am very hungry.

Question

Where could you be found on an average Saturday night?

Passed out in an armchair on somebody's front lawn.

In any parking lot, with my crew.

Getting some much needed sleep behind an outhouse.

Grabbing someone's boobs.

Just rollin'.

In the bushes outside the movie theatre.

Question

What's your favorite way to give back to your community?

Letting everybody on Main Street enjoy the huge subs in the back of my car.

Recycling cans in very creative ways.

Making friends with all the little children.

Making pretty black designs on the road with my tires.

Singing to people in a nursing home.

Picking up trash on Route 1.

Question

What color are your eyes? Not that it has anything to do with anything. Ha.

Blue.

Brown.

Green.

Hazel.

Please refer to my Myspace default.

I spooned them out a long time ago.

Question

Who do you talk to most frequently?

The cashier at D.E.M.O.

Whoever happens in the back seat of my car with me.

Myself.

No one listens to me anyways! FUCK!

My bottle.

The friends I make in my books.

Question

You generally judge a person by:

Whether they hang out at VIP or Auto Zone.

Only God may judge.

The colour of their aura.

I don't jjjuudddggggee!!

They GRILLZ!

Whether or not they can PPAAARRRTTTYYYYY

Question

Say a car passes you and the passenger calls you an ignorant motherfucker. What is your reaction?

I jump off the nearest bridge. What's the point? That bastard was right.

I do the only logical thing there is to do. Bust a fuckin' cap on his lame ass.

I grin and skip away into the distance. I smell an old lady's hair on my way by.

I burst into song. "I want to ride my byyyciiicyllleee..."

I get in my car and follow that fucker! I bet he's headed to Wal*Mart!

Find him and key a nice message into his ugly fucking piece of shit grandma car.

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The Public Figure Test

Get started with these questions...

You see an elderly woman outside of the grocery store, struggling to load her items into the back of her Oldsmobile. What is your reaction?

What adjective would you use to best describe yourself?

Where could you be found on an average Saturday night?

What's your favorite way to give back to your community?

What color are your eyes? Not that it has anything to do with anything. Ha.

Who do you talk to most frequently?

You generally judge a person by:

Say a car passes you and the passenger calls you an ignorant motherfucker. What is your reaction?

What do you think, did we get it right? Comment here...

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