Rum and Monkey

Studebaker

Oldsmobile 88

Ford Excursion

Saab

Cadillac (doesn't run)

Vespa scooter

an old truck advertising my latest enterprise

I don't drive - I ride in a limo

I can often be found in the back of a police car

I prefer riding my bike

I like to walk

I'm really not in any condition to drive

Question

You're in the middle of an important task. What is most likely to distract you?

chickens

food

women

my crazy co-workers

a call from my agent

the immorality of today's youth

having my manhood insulted

my gorilla detector going off

things being thrown at me

bad vibes

the blues

I'm already distracted

Question

What would you buy if you had a little extra spending money?

a classic record

exploding socks

an american flag

guitar picks

a good book

a pedicure

a beautiful rose for a beautiful lady

a new rubber chicken

a sharp knife

test tubes

woman!

dinner

Question

What's your favorite movie?

Being John Malkovich

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Easy Rider

Goldfinger

Immortal Beloved

Mo Better Blues

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

Braveheart

Duck Soup

Godzilla

Gone with the Wind

It's a Wonderful Life

Question

What's your favorite drink?

Cosmopolitan

Blue Hawaiian

Amaretto Sour

Grasshopper

Combustible Edison

Jack Daniels

Glögg

Sangria

lager

porter

gin

milk

Question

Pretend you're in the woods and suddenly approached by a tiger. What do you do?

nervously explain that I don't want any trouble

say "hello" and go about my business

engage in a deep conversation about life

show him my new roller skates

have a dramatic show-down

karate chop him

i'll be prepared with my meat cleaver

panic and run around screaming

perform my comedy act until he leaves

tell him he is what's wrong with this country

fight him - i'm just as vicious

i'm supposed to do something?

Question

Which of the following people do you most admire?

Johnny Carson

Bob Hope

Billy Joel

Evel Knievel

Keith Moon

Ronald Reagan

Elizabeth Taylor

Louis Pasteur

Emeril Lagasse

Janice Joplin

Don Juan

Miles Davis

Question

Which of the following best describes your philosophy?

Rely on your creativity, because you never know what to expect from the ordinary.

Just because you start at the bottom, doesn't mean you can't go all the way to the top.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.

Anything worth doing is worth doing without a parachute.

I want to make millions of people happy.

We need to re-evaluate our modern American values.

Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am.

Life is sadly temporary.

Stay away from women: that's my motto. (Although, I can't: that's my trouble.)

I'm a professional - I've had three performances

I'm still here.

Beat drums!

Question

What is your most prized possession?

my medals

my slide whistle

my shades

my piano - family heirloom

my non-flammable poster of the periodic table of elements

my lava lamp

my big hat

my hand buzzer

my diamond jewelry

my cell phone

my banjo

Right now? Anything remotely edible.

Question

Which of the following foods do you like best?

banana cream pie

chocolate bon-bons

raw meat

anchovies

biscuits

Dragonfly Ripple ice cream

spinach salad

apple pie

chicken a la king en flambe

Pop Rocks & Coke

tapas

whatever's free

Question

What are your friends most likely to say about you?

"He's just burnt-out."

"He has taken it upon himself to promote and protect wholesome American morals and values."

"He generally functions as the "normal" and calm center but at times he'll panic or become annoyed and frustrated with the chaos around him."

"He takes pride in his uniqueness, and he enjoys everything that he does -- no matter how painful or ill-advised it may be."

"She wants everyone to treat her like a lady, and if they don't, she'll cut them in half."

"He's nearly always in the kitchen, waving some utensils while singing his signature song."

"He is always telling terrible jokes, but he's just trying so hard you've got to love him."

"She always knows her material and performs well and she doesn't hog the spotlight or make a mess of things."

"He is something of a humorous lothario, and frequently spews sexual innuendo."

"His life is simple - He lives alone, goes to work, comes home, reads a book, has a couple of beers, takes himself for a walk and goes to bed."

"He has been shrunk, cloned, deflated, turned invisible, and blown up, but he always comes back for more."

"You don't mess with him. He eats glass, man."

Question

Where are you most likely to be found?

the coast of Spain

the swamp

touring the nation's capital

a love-in

composing music

hibernating

being shot out of a cannon

being mobbed by thousands of adoring fans

helping out a friend (no matter how much I'm abused)

zoning out

unsuccessfully explaining myself

making a mess

Question

Which of the following songs is your favorite?

"The Star-Spangled Banner"

"Send in the Clowns"

"Happy Feet"

"Haitian Fight Song"

"I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends"

"Material Girl"

"Dancing Queen"

"Me and My Shadow"

"Wild Thing"

"I'm Too Sexy"

"Good Vibrations"

"My Way"

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The Muppet Quiz

Get started with these questions...

What kind of car do you drive?

You're in the middle of an important task. What is most likely to distract you?

What would you buy if you had a little extra spending money?

What's your favorite movie?

What's your favorite drink?

Pretend you're in the woods and suddenly approached by a tiger. What do you do?

Which of the following people do you most admire?

Which of the following best describes your philosophy?

What is your most prized possession?

Which of the following foods do you like best?

What are your friends most likely to say about you?

Where are you most likely to be found?

Which of the following songs is your favorite?

What do you think, did we get it right? Comment here...

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