The Do Not Feed The Animals Test

I wish they'd get off my back. What they want for me isn't necessarily what *I* want for me. I get they think it's what's best, but they aren't doing me any favors.

Embarrassing. The things they do (and make ME do) are things I'd basically like to forget about and they're holding me back.

I respect what they do in life but they have a tendency to not be around when I need them.

Parents? What parents?

Question

What about you makes others laugh?

Sardonic and cynical wit. Sarcasm's my middle name, baby. Well, actually, now that I think about it, that's my confirmation name.

I'm totally goofy and thrive on cathing everyone's attention. Basically everything from falling flat on my ass to using every loud, raunchy sexual innuendo I know.

The laughing I receive is usually for my unusually large ears or some other physical flaw...but my cuteness and general playfulness make everyone giggle.

I'm a silly ol' bear.

Question

What are your eating habits?

I don't like getting my own food. Maybe I'll sneak some of yours.

I have littles predilections for things, like I have a favorite soft drink. Other than that, it's total carnage for me, man.

I'm not very picky. I eat fruit, veggies, but I also eat meat.

Mostly hunny. Though I could do for a bit of milk, thistles, haycorns, or maybe extract of malt.

Question

What is your greatest physical flaw?

My facial hair hasn't grown in yet.

My size. It's large and awkward.

My ears and size. I'm very small but my ears are enormous.

I'm short, fat, and proud of that, strictly poundage wise.

Question

What is something about your personality that others don't find attractive?

I treat women like I treat my day of the week underwear.

I am easily frightened by everyone that is bigger than me. Which is usually everyone, even those that are nice to me.

My personality may or may not split.

I'm kind of proud. I'm king of the freaking jungle-I mean, beasts-and I still get no respect.

Question

What are your main talents?

Film and art.

Sports-baseball, hockey, football.

Music. I can play basically any instrument.

I improve my appetite when I exercise.

Question

What's a favorite habit?

I like to nap in the sun.

I, like the rest of my species, love to swim (though some of my other species in my family don't like it)

I love to dig. When I can't dig, I like to play...with everything and everyone.

I made up a game where I stand on a bridge over a river and throw sticks into said river. then I see which stick floats under the bridge first.

Question

How do you regard other species?

They're all stupid; none of them get my sense of humor.

I have a tendency to choose foxy love interests outside of my own species...which is probably why I never have successful relationships...

I'm scared other the larger species but I eat the smaller species so I can be conflicted...

I'm friends with all species...except for those goddamn heffalumps and woozels...

Question

What is the name of your baby whose way you love?

Me.

There's this fox...

There's this tiger...

You.

Question

Who/What do you hate?

Hunting/The decisions my dad's made for me

Frosted Rice...why did you fail me...? Was there a better rice cereal out there? Snap, Crackle, and Pop can go to hell.

Being shut in and not having any fun.

Goddamn heffalumps and woozels...

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The Do Not Feed The Animals Test

Get started with these questions...

How do you feel about your parents?

What about you makes others laugh?

What are your eating habits?

What is your greatest physical flaw?

What is something about your personality that others don't find attractive?

What are your main talents?

What's a favorite habit?

How do you regard other species?

What is the name of your baby whose way you love?

Who/What do you hate?

What do you think, did we get it right? Comment here...

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