@rumandmonkey Great speeches through history, if they'd been made on Twitter: http://rumandmonkey.com/humor/2009/11/18/great-speeches-twitter/

Which Washed up or Dead Rocker are You?

by Slappy White

This is a user-written personality test created with the Personality Test Generator. Rum and Monkey isn't responsible for its content, however good or bad it may be.

Yeah, this is a test. Take it...TAKE IT!

Are you Scottish?

No, but I've had some...Scots...if you will...

No, but I love a good scotch!

Oh aye.

Nope, all American here...

That's an insult...dare you badger me?

No, I'm a heroine addict.

Ok, you've just played a great gig, what are you doing afterward?

Probably go home and play some midnight golf or something...

Toke up, man...just toke up

Go over and challenge the guys from 'Foreigner' to a rumble

Go play another gig...if you catch my drift. You know...with women?

*stammer* I *stammer* don't know where I live...

Going back to my miserable life where everyone hates me because I'm famous.

Las Vegas...thoughts?

I know I've been to Vegas, but I can't think of where I stayed, what I did, or...anything, really. I have the receipt somewhere around here...

Man! That's a capitalist light festival! I wanna go to Oregon!

I live there. It's shiny. So...so shiny.

Do you wanna get drunk and screw?

I don't even need to get drunk. I'm desperate.

How can I do something enjoyable when there's so much suffering you insensitive bastard!

Sorry...the wife's at home.

Man...I don't need liquor. Weed's all you need!

Have you experienced any sort of hearing loss?

Wha?

Huh?

I'm dead, asshole. Of course I can't hear anything.

Eh?

No, I never watched "Who's The Boss?".

Which label?

Reprise

Capitol

Have you or would you have ever wanted to play a gig with Neil Young?

That moody Canadian fellow?

Yah, but he won't return my calls.

Already did...

Neil's not my thing.

Does your amp go to 11?

That's the only level I can hear it at.

That's the only level that will allow me to be obnoxious to my neighbors.

I play acoustic, man.

Are horsies pretty?

Yeah they're pretty...pretty tasty!

I'm allergic to horses. I hate my life.

Sure man, whatever.

If I say yes, will I have a record deal?

I own a few, why don't you ask them yourself? They seem pretty conceited.

Make-up...have you worn it?

Yes, but I was really, really drunk.

Yes, but only on my eyes so I could look forlorn.

Hell, I almost invented that exercise in rock

If I did, would I get a record deal?

No, but I do wear glasses...

Finally...if you could be any ice cream flavor, what would you be?

Rocky Road

I'm lactose intolerant

Sweet, sweet caramel baby

Anything with bourbon in it

Anything with weed in it

What flavor wouldn't I be?

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Which Washed up or Dead Rocker are You?

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