2
You awake after a night of debauchery to find yourself in bed with a 15-year-old Estonian hooker. The gun you find clutched in your hand has been fired recently, and there is blood (not yours) on your shirt. In light of all this, what do you have for breakfast?
3
Do you feel comfortable crying in front of others?
4
You are standing on the corner eating a pastrami sandwich when a passing homeless person accidentally steps on your foot. You say, "Hey, dude, that was my foot," and he goes, "Oh, yeah, what're you going to do about it?" So you're all like, "That's really dick, man," and he's like, "Piss off, pastrami boy," so you go, "Yeah, well at least I've got a house, Park Bench McUnderpass." The situation goes downhill from there. Which of the following most closely describes the story you later tell the police?
5
Do you ever feel sad for no clear reason?
6
"What's Happening's" Rerun or duck-billed platypus? Choose!
7
Which of the following most closely describes your behavior in an unfamiliar social setting?
8
You and your friends are taking bets on who would win a fistfight, Aunt Jemima or Uncle Ben. Suddenly, gunfire erupts from the street corner. You hit the deck as you hear a car speeding away. When you get back up, you see your best friend lying in a rapidly-spreading pool of blood, gasping his life out through a sucking chest wound -- another young victim of drug-related violence. And you never even knew he had a problem. You cradle his head in your arms and try to calm him, try to tell him it will be all right. But you know it's gone way past all right. You know he's dying. Finally, after what seems a cruel eternity, the light fades from his eyes and he sighs deeply. "Goodbye," he says. "Thanks for always, y'know, being there." And with a small smile on his face, your friend dies. So, who WOULD win a fist fight between Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben?
9
What do you look for in a romantic relationship?
10
You are in the throes of the most powerful, mind-shattering orgasm of your life when you notice a burglar standing in the bedroom doorway, waiting for you to finish. How do you warn your lover?
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