Which Type of Squirrel Are You?

We've all seen them on the streets, in the parks, on campus, running amuck in the city, and we've all been jealous. You've daydreamed about it, you've even obsessed about it, but now you can figure out what kind of squirrel you would be. Breath a sigh of relief because the world will make so much more sense after taking this test.

Get started with these questions...

1

What is your purpose in life?

To terrorize other small animals and become dictator over my small forest/shrubbery/park/backyard

To make the humans scream/trip/look stupid

Eat nuts and frolic through the fields

To use my supernatural powers to save other squirrels in need and transport acorns

Purpose? Haven't you noticed that I'm somewhat of a freak?

2

What is your favorite food?

Leftovers

Acorns, nuts, mushrooms

Campus trashcans, cafeteria food, old pizza, Doritos

"Fast food"

Small woodland animals, domestic pets, flying things

3

Have you ever obliterated a small village?

Hmm... ob- liter- a- ted? What is this you speak of?

Of course. Do you think me an amateur?

My parents survived the obliteration of a small village.

Yes... I like to attack from the air. It's in my nature.

Do parks or campuses count?

4

Which branch of the military are you involved in?

Military?!?! I am a pacifist if you can't tell!

Army. I like the camoflauge.

I don't do the military. I prefer ninja style combat. Hi yah!

Air Force. "Fly Boys" rule!

Marines. Tough, cigarette-in-teeth, the-loss-of-a-limb-doesn't-faze-me, hardass willingness to blow up things lures me in.

5

Have you ever been attached to the grill of a spray-painted car?

No, but I've dodged a few.

Roads and cars aren't my thing.

hehe.... grills.... hehehe..... *shifty eyes*

Well, yes. High school students really need more to do.

The steel plate in my head keeps me from being "attached."

6

What is your favorite type of surprise attack?

Umm.... I sneak up on the acorn. Pounce on it. Then stick it in my mouth. Suprise!

Hide in a bush. Make wild hooting sounds. Then grab the back of the neck and go.

Haven't I told you enough times?!?!?! I'm a pacifist. Sorry, I apologize for my outrageous outburst.

Dress like a ninja. Do some acrobatics and special effects. Then kung fu fight while my mouths moves and the voice over grossly mismatches my lips.

Silently but forcefully divebomb the enemy.

7

Answer: Nut.

What is my nickname?

What is my favorite food?

What is Quidditch practice gear?

What is a small metal ring thing?

What is best casing for a grenade?

8

Yes, no, or maybe?

Yes, I know where you live.

What? Is this really the question?

hehe... yes... hehe

*confused look*

Weeeeeeeeeeeee....

9

Who is your hero?

Saddam, Hitler, Castro, Kim Jong II, Pol Pot, Stalin.... so many choices!! Whom shall I chose? All have short, wonderfully powerful names and were amazing leaders.

Charles Dickens or Gandhi or Dr. Suess or Shel Silverstein

The Spirit of St. Louis

Spunky. He was a good squirrel. Knew all the good acorn trees.

Jackie Chan!

10

Hello My Name Is.....

Yes.

Your worst nightmare! Fear me for I will naw off toes!

Fred.

Karate Kid: Part II

Delta

11

Have you ever gone streaking through a retirement home?

Yes. Daily.

Would that involve shaving off my fur?

hehehe... only when I'm drunk... hehehe

I wouldn't call frolicking "streaking."

Best way to pick up the hotties!

12

What do you think about your squirrel family members?

They turned me into this... this... this...

Only as long as they're single and hot.

They are in my prison as we speak.

We work well together.

Kind of like the Partridge family, but we're squirrels.

This is a user-written post. Rum and Monkey isn't responsible for its content, however good it may be. Please report any inappropriate content.