Which member of the Carlson/Geminder/Schulman family are you?

Do what you want and have fun doing it.

The Protestaholic work ethic: an hour more of work gets you a glass of Merlot.

The cleaner you are, the cleaner heaven will be.

Save the world and you'll be saved.

You're here, you're now. Sleep while you can.

No talkee, no smiley, no laughy, no likey, no lookee.

Question

Your superhero superpowers are:

You have supersonic sponges that come out of your ears and you spit cleaning detergent from your eyebrows. You have the capacity to clean up after tornados, atomic bombs, and young children in less than five seconds.

You have the ability to make tornados in less than two seconds. You also have the skyscraper leveling, mountain destructing superhuman power of perseveration and, with an artfully placed grin, you can always, ALWAYS get what you want.

You can disguise yourself as a bald rat in an instant, pee where you want, and just not care.

You can transform dull, senile science classes into the most magnificent magical transfiguration lessons, and still look like you're paying attention. Not to mention using your powers to transfigure your test into an A++.

You can tune out the most massive distractions and make multi-multitasking look easy as baking a cake. Cake? Who'd want cake?

You have Houdini-esque powers of escape and can lose yourself in thick Russian plotlines. You can turn an everyday occurence into an epic journey of worlds beyond.

Question

You enjoy films that:

Depress the hell out of you every time.

Involve magical creatures.

Make you nostalgic for the sixties.

Contain lots of people falling down in lots of ways.

Contain lots of people falling down on Christmas.

Are about dogs. Or food.

Question

If you could be anywhere, where would you be?

On a beach, sipping a martini, with your loved one nearby.

On a beach, sipping expensive wine, with your loved ones far, far away.

The North Pole.

On stage. The bigger, the better.

Exactly where you are.

The magical shire of Hamp, otherwise known as Happy Valley.

Question

My feelings about jewelry:

It should be discreet, simple, expensive, and silver.

It should be indiscreet, intricate, preferably cheap, and make a statement.

You bought your wife an expensive pair of earrings. You hope she likes them.

You had an expensive pair of earrings. You lost them.

Ooo... Gold... Shiny... makes for gold, shiny flapping.

Tastes like oysters.

Question

What's the best way of getting attention?

Saying as little as possible to make everyone else happy until you explode, producing typically dramatic, unexpected results.

Singing, dancing, shouting, throwing large objects... wait, what isn't a means of getting attention?

Perfection.

Volume.

Woof, woof!

Re-enacting the violent, inappropriate scenes you witnessed last night in a movie. Did we say movie? We meant our family.

Question

Your laugh sounds like:

A twinkling old man's chuckle.

Cher from Clueless.

A scary '40's radio show cackle.

Smoking... Asthma... Gasp!

What's laughing?

No, really, what's laughing?

Question

You're assigned an essay due in two weeks.

You immediately begin researching. You have to finish early. Your daughter takes forever to proofread.

You'll start in two minutes. Right after you clean the cabinets... and by cabinets, we mean the entire house.

You immediately begin researching. You have to finish TONIGHT. The world could explode in two weeks

You know what you'll be doing in a week and six days.

Your dog ate your essay.

Your owner ate your essay.

Question

Someone spontaneously gives you a billion dollars. What's the first thing you do?

Buy a hot-tub. Make that two... thousand hot-tubs... for charity, of course.

Pottery Barn is going down. Right after you come back from Costa Rica.

You'll be securing Hilary's 2008 election campaign.

You'll need to live while writing your first novel. Then, you can save the world.

You plan on installing a full-theater movie screening room in your bedroom, then buying out Blockbuster.

Tastes like chocolate.

This is a user-written post. Rum and Monkey isn't responsible for its content, however good it may be. Please report any inappropriate content.

Which member of the Carlson/Geminder/Schulman family are you?

Get started with these questions...

Your first rule of life is:

Your superhero superpowers are:

You enjoy films that:

If you could be anywhere, where would you be?

My feelings about jewelry:

What's the best way of getting attention?

Your laugh sounds like:

You're assigned an essay due in two weeks.

Someone spontaneously gives you a billion dollars. What's the first thing you do?

What do you think, did we get it right? Comment here...

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