Mighty Generator of Pie and Other Delicious Desserts Names

So, the almighty dessert. It's sweet, it's heavenly, it's the reason the most horrible crimes are committed (sugar-deprived people are not fun to deal with). But what would you be if you were a dessert? Would you be the prized, dainty soufflé? The humble apple pie? Or the spontaneous chocolate chip cookie?

Well, wonder no further, unfortunate soul who is not a dessert. I will channel into my non-existent psychic abilities and tell you what the dessert world holds for you--if only you had chosen that path when you were deciding what to be.

Oh well.

At least you get to eat what you can't be.