We see your cracka ass. Yeah, it's pathetic. But not to worry, we also see what you really want to be inside; you wanna be gangsta. The goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit, yo.
But let us tell you this: you'll never get anywhere without a suitably awe-inspiring name - and that's where Ms. Bunny Lyn Boofay's sister Figgy Fig is here to help you. See, through my years of research, we've developed a way to take your currently humdrum, boring, middle class nerd name and turn it into something special. We'll make you be somebody, yo.
All you gotta do is fill in your first and last names below, and we'll work our pimp magic. You can thank us later when you're up to your armpits in ghetto ho action and you've blown all those who disrespect you out of the water.
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