The Pub Argument Compass

Welcome to the Pub Argument Compass.

We all know there is abundant evidence for the requirement of such a tool in our changing times. The old, simple opinion polarisers such as "beer-drinker" and "cider-drinker" are now firmly a throwback to a yesterday world, as established in pubs such as the Eagle and Child and the Nag's Head. Is a Smirnoff Ice drinker a beer drinker or a cider drinker? Are they a poser, or an alcoholic? Who can say?

Where on the scale do we distinguish drinkers such as Rab C. Nesbitt and Oliver Reed? It's not sufficient to say that Oliver Reed was a real person and Nesbitt was not; the former was an actor, after all. There are fundamental differences between the two that the old categories simply can't explain.

Remember, as you answer the following questions, that there is no right, wrong or patently absurd response. Just answer as best you can, and we will show you where you stand in the pub argument compass for the new millennium. When you're ready, click the button to dive in ...