Which Presidential Candidate Are You?

What's the greatest threat to the United States today?

Terrorism.

Godlessness.

George W Bush.

Intolerance.

Environmental damage.

How about them gays, eh?

They will burn in Hell.

Equal rights for all would be nice.

Everyone should be eligible for a civil union.

Whatever.

Have you ever obliterated a village?

Yes.

No, but I've killed the equivalent population of a small town.

Only a simulated one. Bang! Boom! Whee!

No.

Abortion!

Women have the right to choose.

It's murder.

God does not condone it.

Whatever.

What about the plight of the Native Americans?

They continue to be oppressed, and more must be done to help them.

Umm .. er .. uh .. uhm .. heh .. er .. mm .. uh .. hmmm.

What's your stance on the war in Iraq?

It was an illegal war, and frankly, I don't trust the President's motives.

We are bringing freedom to an oppressed people.

We shouldn't be sticking our nose in other peoples' business.

Think of the long-term environmental damage caused by the depleted uranium!

Whatever.

Stem cell research?

I'm against it.

I'm in favour.

I really don't care.

What's your deepest, darkest secret?

I was a cocaine addict and an alcoholic; my wife killed someone in a car crash and I brought down several businesses.

I committed some questionable acts while part of the armed services.

I helped develop weapons, and I'm what you people call "a gun nut".

I may have shot and killed someone.

I hate most people.

Quite honestly, I'm squeaky clean. As a button.

If you could have a catchphrase, what would it be?

"Let's roll!"

"Freedom for my people!"

"Well, that's a difficult question, and quite honestly ..."

"For our children!"

"Freedom for everyone!"

"Heavenly Father, forgive me my sins."

Benjamin wrote this.

Generated in 0.011079072952271 seconds.

14 sandwiches and a small number of insignificant planets were eaten during this period.