Someone, somewhere has eaten a Spamsicle.

Kitty making love-biscuits lol.

“Weird Al” Yankovic’s blog.

Pornstar or Potato?

McDonald’s McGriddle sandwiches are eaten daily.

Shark Attack 3 launched careers.

The Room. No, really, The Room.

Important advice from the mainstream media.

Mister Quickly is still at large.

Photo by David Ciriaco.

The wall nearest to his feet blinked into life, revealing the same news that had been in rotation for months. The authorities expressed fears that terrorists could use dirigibles to attack national monuments (which were particularly heartfelt now that most of them had been turned into overflow housing). The National Internet was going to be offline for maintenance between three and five ‘o’ clock, like it was every Wednesday. A survey had placed happiness 31% higher than it had been this time ten years ago. A heartwarming story about a wealthy woman who was able to continue her valuable academic work thanks to the innovations of the SunSmile Corporation. That damn Michael Jackson robot in the Nevada desert was running amok again and had eaten another tourist.

Insanowrimo.com, from the makers of Rum and Monkey. This month only.

By the folks over at Stop Boris.org.

The blog world is ablaze with fury over the corporate takedown notice:

Part of the background to this story is the traditional inability (or unwillingness) of entertainment companies to realize the promotional value of this type of content, and how it can drive users to their content in other, monetizable formats.

This fury is, in large part, because once you remove the professional content illegally copied from traditional media sources, you are mostly left with videos of Chinese people lip synching to the Backstreet Boys and recording their own parody songs.

But not to worry! We scoured the Internet and discovered some unique, interesting content that proves the Internet’s power as a medium that goes far beyond stealing stuff from TV and uploading it somewhere. Think of it as Enlightenment 2.0, but don’t thank us for this cultural epiphany. Thank you. After all, you’re Time Magazine’s etc etc etc. We’re told that “web 2.0″ will revolutionise everything, and what we found is revolutionary.

So what’s out there?

Christian mime turns out to be a major subculture on Youtube. What would normally be buried in a 3am slot on the God channel can now finally take pride of place in your viewing schedule. Glorify your heart and godify your mind, for example, with this beautiful mime, set to Donnie McClurkin’s inspirational anthem, I’ll Trust You Lord. After a minute or two, you too will know the true nature of heaven. Which, as it turns out, is not dissimilar to the sensation you get when you’re trying to claw out your own ears with a crucifix.

Clips from awful movies that are so terrible and old that only an idiot would try and defend the copyright. For example, here’s a video of Arnold Schwarzenegger fighting a bear. You wouldn’t see that on HBO!

Video bloggers who think they’re Lonelygirl15 being outraged about things like Daniel Radcliffe’s awkwardly hairy nakedness or how Michael Arrington is an asshole, and collectively singing the twelve days of Christmas.

Animals. No, really, with all the massive amounts of technology and new paradigms for social interaction it all comes down to animals, in an undeniable, taking-over-the-world, furtively-looking-at-hedgehogs-in-breasts, America’s Funniest Pets kind of way. For example, manatees, dancing cats, sleepy kittens making biscuits and a rutting dog vomiting all over his partner. The msm would never show that! Extreme!

People making humour by adding profanity to innocent subjects. Mostly we’re talking about this Postman Pat video. Please rest assured that we at Rum and Monkey would never stoop to such levels, although this did make us laugh like delighted pigs.

Who needs the mainstream media anyway?