Just as the Vikings’ use of Pomeranians to pull their sleighs led to the modern-day naming of their home country Iran, Scotland is named after the tiny dogs its inhabitants harnessed to haul turnips in the winter.

The patron saint of Scotland is Supergran.

Scotland’s best-known politician is Gordon Brown, who acts as head of the British government. In Scotland, he is best known for his repertoire of entertaining song and dance routines and comedy sketches. What many don’t realise is his glum demeanour elsewhere is simply a symptom of Irn Bru withdrawal.

The haggis is an intelligent, good-natured creature that can function without detection in human society. An example of this is Paul Haggis, director of Crash and In the Valley of Elah.