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	<title>Comments on: Evading bears: a primer</title>
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	<link>http://rumandmonkey.com/humor/2010/05/31/evading-bears-a-primer/</link>
	<description>Satire for the unwashed masses.</description>
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		<title>By: Chemich</title>
		<link>http://rumandmonkey.com/humor/2010/05/31/evading-bears-a-primer/comment-page-1/#comment-49283</link>
		<dc:creator>Chemich</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 22 Nov 2010 06:42:42 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description>I find if you bring a census guy with you he&#039;ll ignore you and run after the census guy, just a heads up.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I find if you bring a census guy with you he&#8217;ll ignore you and run after the census guy, just a heads up.</p>
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		<title>By: Calming Influence</title>
		<link>http://rumandmonkey.com/humor/2010/05/31/evading-bears-a-primer/comment-page-1/#comment-43461</link>
		<dc:creator>Calming Influence</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 23 Aug 2010 17:49:08 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description>This is so useful it should be a &lt;a href=&quot;http://bookstore.gpo.gov/subjects/sb-153.jsp&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;G.P.O.&lt;/a&gt; Pamphlet.

Since every bear encounter is unique, creative thinking is essential.  Perhaps you should include an appendix of techniques that, while unorthodox, have proven successful in unusual bear/human interactions. I&#039;ll use my own recent experience as an example:

I was working in my office at home, and decided to get a cup of coffee.  Upon entering the kitchen, I noticed a medium sized brown bear rummaging through the vegetable drawer in my fridge.  Now normally, clearing my throat or coughing is enough to get a bear&#039;s attention, and they&#039;ll skedaddle.  On this particular occasion, however, the bear simply looked at me, gave me the classic &quot;Elvis&quot; lip sneer, and went back to digging through my organic carrot selection. So I ran back to my office and pulled up MapQuest on my computer, got directions for a local intersection, printed them out, highlighted the relevant portion, ran back to the kitchen, and handed them to the bear.

He seemed confused at first, but when he got to the highlighted &lt;i&gt;&quot;Bear left...&quot;&lt;/i&gt;, he closed the fridge and headed out the back door. 

Obviously this won&#039;t work on bears that can&#039;t read, but you get the idea.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This is so useful it should be a <a href="http://bookstore.gpo.gov/subjects/sb-153.jsp" rel="nofollow">G.P.O.</a> Pamphlet.</p>
<p>Since every bear encounter is unique, creative thinking is essential.  Perhaps you should include an appendix of techniques that, while unorthodox, have proven successful in unusual bear/human interactions. I&#8217;ll use my own recent experience as an example:</p>
<p>I was working in my office at home, and decided to get a cup of coffee.  Upon entering the kitchen, I noticed a medium sized brown bear rummaging through the vegetable drawer in my fridge.  Now normally, clearing my throat or coughing is enough to get a bear&#8217;s attention, and they&#8217;ll skedaddle.  On this particular occasion, however, the bear simply looked at me, gave me the classic &#8220;Elvis&#8221; lip sneer, and went back to digging through my organic carrot selection. So I ran back to my office and pulled up MapQuest on my computer, got directions for a local intersection, printed them out, highlighted the relevant portion, ran back to the kitchen, and handed them to the bear.</p>
<p>He seemed confused at first, but when he got to the highlighted <i>&#8220;Bear left&#8230;&#8221;</i>, he closed the fridge and headed out the back door. </p>
<p>Obviously this won&#8217;t work on bears that can&#8217;t read, but you get the idea.</p>
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