What’s black and white and red all over?
A smug iPad owner, bludgeoned to death with his device, bleeding all over the tastefully-rendered better-than-desktop website glowing prominently on its shimmering, crystalline screen.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To escape the restrictive limitations of Apple FairPlay DRM.
A man walks into a bar.
He accidentally leaves his prototype phone there, someone sells it to a blog, and Apple gets the cops to kick down everyone’s fucking door.