Kim Kardashian describes herself as an Armenian princess. She’s the well-heeled, erudite star of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, a reality television show on the E! network (which is named after the horrified noise you make once you’ve realized what you’re watching).
Unfortunately, when the credits roll and E! flips to commercials, the groinal flow of Kim’s mind-detritus also ceases. But fear not, mental anguish fans – she’s on Twitter. Here’s some things we’ve learned recently from her craptivity stream:
Sometimes you just need a good cry.
Botswana is in South Africa.
It is possible to get a commercial spray tan at midnight.
Spray tan parties exist.
Clear duck tape does not exist.
One can grow one’s eyebrows out in anticipation of forehead topiary.
Kim Kardashian fights “against the drug wars”.
You shouldn’t drink bottled water when the heat has melted the bottle down.
It’s wise to use numbing cream if you intend to remove your hair with lasers.