5 quick facts about Scotland
by Benjamin
Rabbie Burns was not an actual rabbi.
Just as the Vikings’ use of Pomeranians to pull their sleighs led to the modern-day naming of their home country Iran, Scotland is named after the tiny dogs its inhabitants harnessed to haul turnips in the winter.
The patron saint of Scotland is Supergran.
Scotland’s best-known politician is Gordon Brown, who acts as head of the British government. In Scotland, he is best known for his repertoire of entertaining song and dance routines and comedy sketches. What many don’t realise is his glum demeanour elsewhere is simply a symptom of Irn Bru withdrawal.
The haggis is an intelligent, good-natured creature that can function without detection in human society. An example of this is Paul Haggis, director of Crash and In the Valley of Elah.
February 7th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
ASSSSWIPES!!!! I’M SCOTTISH SO SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!DIPSHITS!
February 7th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
BUMHOLES! NAPPY-HEADED HOS!!!!!!!!
February 15th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
^– looks like someone should lay off the haggis.
February 19th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Great Scot! Did someone shit in the toaster?
February 20th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
LOL! This cracked me up so bad!
To the guy who’s all offended: Jeezo, it’s a joke. I’m Scottish too, you don’t see me going mental about it, or any other sane people either. Chances are the OP is Scottish, ’cause he seems to know a little about our culture (well, Irn Bru, but still, you get the point).
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:11 am
Hah Its true. I’m Scottisha nd i think Scotland is up its own arse ;D
May 5th, 2009 at 12:42 am
This is funny! I’m Scottish too, and if you can’t take a joke like the rest of us, you ain’t much of a scott! I’m derived from the Davidson clan, a fairly powerful clan. The last names that come out from it are: Davie, Davis, Davison, Dawson, Day, Dean, Dow, Kay, McDade, McDaid, and MacDavid.
So all you Scotts be proud that some-one can make a joke, because otherwise, we will never be noticed, and will be forgotten, which is NOT the way a scott wants to go!!!
May 18th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
It is a well known fact in Scotland that the lesser spotted haggis has one leg shorter than the other to allow for short bursts of speed along the sides of hills, meaning it can outrun the hunter over short distances and hide.
This is foiled by hunters in the know who chase it the other way around the hill.
I’m Scottish too, could you tell?
July 3rd, 2009 at 8:40 am
This is a load of bull shit…
“he seems to know a little about our culture (well, Irn Bru, but still, you get the point).”
Yea, cause Irn Bru’s all our culture is made up of.
“I’m Scottish and i think Scotland is up its own arse ;D”
That probably offended me more than the original post…
“I’m derived from the Davidson clan, a fairly powerful clan. The last names that come out from it are: Davie, Davis, Davison, Dawson, Day, Dean, Dow, Kay, McDade, McDaid, and MacDavid.”
Who gives a shit tbh?
What was said was a racist joke towards Scottish people,
Even if it was a joke, it’s still racist.
Whatever happened to fucking patriotism?
October 4th, 2009 at 5:51 am
Melissa, if you have a problem with people being able to laugh at themselves, there’s something wrong with you. And if you love patriotism so much, how come you’re bitching about Lool’s pride in his heritage?
December 12th, 2011 at 6:34 pm
i find this a little funny but to some people this could be very offensive!xxx