Our final, final answer: person of the year, yo
January 5th, 2007 by Benjamin
You’ve cast your votes - almost two thousand two hundred of them at last count - and we are pleased, finally, to reveal the results to you. Rum and Monkey’s Person of the Year 2006 is …
… George W. Bush!
For your peace of mind, the voting process was extensively monitored by an impartial party that ensured the results adhered to modern American values. As well as the statistical results, God was consulted no less than nine times, sometimes in Latin! You can rest assured that we have your best interests at heart.
By the way, we’re going to read your mail. For the good of the country. Not that you have anything to fear - unless you’re a terrorist, of course. Or if you’re unamerican. Or likely to protest about the way we’re going to slaughter your children in the middle east. Did we mean slaughter your children? We meant fight for American, of course.
It’s just, we’re going to have to slaughter your children for America.
Now, now, put that pen down. Remember, we’re reading your mail. And we might make people disappear. Sort of like Orko the Magician, who sadly lost this free and fair voting process, but with more secret planes chartered by the CIA to take people to semi-legal concentration camps to be tortured without legal representation or a trial. And there’s this thing we do where we don’t actually register that you’re there, so nobody knows where you are and even if someone discovered that you were totally innocent - which you wouldn’t be, trust us - they couldn’t figure out where you were and get you out. So, let’s put the complaining aside for the moment.
I, for one, welcome our new American overlord. After all, he’s person of the year!
January 6th, 2007 at 3:44 pm
Our mighty warlord has done it. I would say the world is coming to an end, but didn’t that start with his re-election?
Cyrus
http://blogging4burgers.blogspot.com
January 7th, 2007 at 9:01 pm
A little disappointed. It seems unoriginal. I blame the voters (for alot of things. Like the fact that he’s president).
January 10th, 2007 at 5:42 pm
Thank you, thank you very much. Apparently you didn’t over-underestimate me again.
GW
January 10th, 2007 at 7:07 pm
It’s one more thing Bush has in common with Hitler,they were both named man of the year.But to be fair we should remember that Hitler had brains and didn’t need his daddy to get the job for him.
January 12th, 2007 at 2:27 am
Well, “Persons of the Year” have been a bit on the unoriginal side. I must admit, Bush is a better person of the year than every last web blogger out there, which, by the way, is not ‘person.’ In addition, I find articles such as this a nice entertaining sidetrack from listening to a fallen Air America Radio monotonously pound it into your head, and listen to the exact same arguments about fifty times a day.
January 12th, 2007 at 3:57 pm
Thank god for that! For a minute there i thought that hippy with the beard & slippers might win!
January 12th, 2007 at 6:41 pm
Tiresome Bush bashing. At least come up with an original way of doing it. But it’s the same old blather. Very boring. Next.
January 16th, 2007 at 9:32 pm
Oh crap i’ve stumbled into the hypocrasy and tireless public views of the people who know not what they say.