Our final, final answer: person of the year, yo
You've cast your votes - almost two thousand two hundred of them at last count - and we are pleased, finally, to reveal the results to you. Rum and Monkey's Person of the Year 2006 is ...
... George W. Bush!
For your peace of mind, the voting process was extensively monitored by an impartial party that ensured the results adhered to modern American values. As well as the statistical results, God was consulted no less than nine times, sometimes in Latin! You can rest assured that we have your best interests at heart.
By the way, we're going to read your mail. For the good of the country. Not that you have anything to fear - unless you're a terrorist, of course. Or if you're unamerican. Or likely to protest about the way we're going to slaughter your children in the middle east. Did we mean slaughter your children? We meant fight for American, of course.
It's just, we're going to have to slaughter your children for America.
Now, now, put that pen down. Remember, we're reading your mail. And we might make people disappear. Sort of like Orko the Magician, who sadly lost this free and fair voting process, but with more secret planes chartered by the CIA to take people to semi-legal concentration camps to be tortured without legal representation or a trial. And there's this thing we do where we don't actually register that you're there, so nobody knows where you are and even if someone discovered that you were totally innocent - which you wouldn't be, trust us - they couldn't figure out where you were and get you out. So, let's put the complaining aside for the moment.
I, for one, welcome our new American overlord. After all, he's person of the year!
What do you think, did we get it right? Comment here...
WANT MORE FUNNY LIKE THIS? FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK