Rum and Monkey’s person of the year 2006 (part two)
December 21st, 2006 by Benjamin
Yesterday we announced our first nomination for person of the year 2006. This is the second part; we’re not sure how many parts there will be. As many as we need, is the short answer; if you want to nominate someone, drop us a line, remembering to include why.
In the meantime, dear readers, here is our second nominee for person of the year:
Jesus Christ / Orko the Magician (joint nomination)
Why nominate them together? And why now? Readers, it couldn’t be simpler. Jesus Christ and Orko the Magician have obvious similarities. These are two peas in a pod: popular magicians whose spells don’t always go to plan, whose every adventure ends with a moral lesson. Witness:
- Jesus turns loaves into fishes when he could be overthrowing the Roman Empire and empowering the impoverished to throw off their shackles and begin a new life; Orko conjures a fish when he could be overthrowing Skeletor.
- Jesus has Christmas; Orko has the Masters of the Universe Christmas Special.
- Jesus is the Son of God, the Lord, and the eternal Word, who became man in the incarnation, so that those who believe in him might have eternal life; Orko has a magic hat.
- Jesus is a descendant of Adam, who “bit the apple” with Eve; Orko is a friend of Adam, who “held aloft his magic sword”.
- Jesus has arms; Orko has Man-At-Arms. And arms.
80% of US households now go to church on a regular basis and believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. Coincidentally, exactly the same number contain at least one child or parent who secretly wants to be He-Man. Okay, so none of this is a viable reason why Jesus Christ and Orko the Magician should be people of the year. Neither of them are really people anyway. But we at Rum and Monkey think they’re cool. At least, Orko is; Jesus is so in need of a makeover, but maybe once we’ve primped up his beard and given him a metrosexual once-over, he’ll be ready to rock the party.
Tomorrow: more seasonal nominees.
December 21st, 2006 at 7:03 am
Aren’t we all descendants of Adam biblically?
May 13th, 2007 at 6:06 pm
About 3 years ago I dropped into a black hole – four months of absolute terror. I wanted to end my life, but somehow [Holy Spirit], I reached out to a friend who took me to hospital. I had three visits [hospital] in four months – I actually thought I was in hell. I imagine I was going through some sort of metamorphosis [mental, physical & spiritual]. I had been seeing a therapist [1994] on a regular basis, up until this point in time. I actually thought I would be locked away – but the hospital staff was very supportive [I had no control over my process]. I was released from hospital 16th September 1994, but my fear, pain & shame had only subsided a little. I remember this particular morning waking up [home] & my process would start up again [fear, pain, & shame]. No one could help me, not even my therapist [I was terrified]. I asked Jesus Christ to have mercy on me & forgive me my sins. Slowly, all my fear has dissipated & I believe Jesus delivered me from my “psychological prison.” I am a practicing Catholic & the Holy Spirit is my friend & strength; every day since then has been a joy & blessing. I deserve to go to hell for the life I have led, but Jesus through His sacrifice on the cross, delivered me from my inequities. John 3: 8, John 15: 26, are verses I can relate to, organically. He’s a real person who is with me all the time. I have so much joy & peace in my life, today, after a childhood spent in orphanages [England & Australia]. God LOVES me so much. Fear, pain, & shame, are no longer my constant companions. I just wanted to share my experience with you [Luke 8: 16 – 17].
Peace Be With You
Micky
February 6th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Well that’s great Micky but God told me he thought you were a douche.