Well, a friend of mine was jumped yesterday. Her name doesn[I AM TOO STUPID TO USE AN APOSTROPHE]t matter. all that matters is that she is a little 105 pound sweetie of a girl, and she was brutally beaten by 4 aboriginals. She will need reconstructive surgery.
This has happened to her before, same people, but not as severe. Polive havent done anything, nor will they.
I became a vigilante today ladies and gentlemen.
I became the swift hammer of justice.
I tracked them down to their usual hangout at the train station. Appraoched them, and had a short coversation with them that went something like this:
"Hey, you the guys that beat up a chick yesterday?"
"FUCK YEAH! We BEAT that little preppy whore!!"
"That 'Preppy whore' happens to be a good friend of mine. Done do it agian. Or else."
"Or else what mother fucker? I think we gotta teach you a lesson not to talk to us like that on our turf!"
"Back off fucker. I don[I AM TOO STUPID TO USE AN APOSTROPHE]t want trouble. BUt I swear it. If you touch her again, there wont be enough flesh left on your body for a skin graft."
"Big words from big man. You wanna fight, huh? We'll give youa fight"
"Uh, You really don[I AM TOO STUPID TO USE AN APOSTROPHE]t want that. Serious. don[I AM TOO STUPID TO USE AN APOSTROPHE]t do it. Your gonna get hurt."
"Fuck you, get em guys!"
So, at this point, 4 natives are going to try to beat the shit otu of me.
I grabbed the one closest to me, swept out his feet and flipped him onto his face. Still holding his arm, I rotated it 180degrees and snapped his elbow, breaking his arm.
Second guy, rushing at me, I threw him over my shoulder, hit his elbow in midair, breaking his arm.
Third guy pulls out a butterfly knife, and starts slashing at me. I grab his arm, hit his elbow, break his arm, and sweep out his legs, sending him to the ground.
Fourth guy starts swearing at me, don[I AM TOO STUPID TO USE AN APOSTROPHE]t remember what he said cause of the adrenaline. Anyways, he charges me, I kick his knee and flip him onto his back.
I plant my foot on his chest we sort of had a Lock Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels scene. It went something like this.
Me:"Allright, listen you dirty cock smoker. I want to know your names. And if your lying, or I think your lying, I'll break your arm. If your bending the truth, or I think your bending the truth, I'll break your arms. In fact, your going to have to wrk very hard to keep your arm intact. Now enlighten me."
Him:"Uh, uh.... um... uh-"*Crack*"-HOLY FUCKING JESUS YOU BRO-"
Me:"don[I AM TOO STUPID TO USE AN APOSTROPHE]t touch her, or anyone agian. Next time it'll be BOTH arms and a leg."
so, yeah. I taught those fuckers some manners... I hate fighting... but,... it was required...
Because it sounds like it's from a movie! It just sounds so cliched, what
with the "don't touch her again, or anyone again" and the "i want to know your names" and the "you're gonna get hurt" and the "i don't want trouble"
And it really sounds like you're boasting. you could of said, My friend got beaten up so i went to find them and kicked the shit out of them" or something like that. Instead you elaborate it and then say, "i hate fighting....but, *looks at camera sternly* It Was Required." *quickly looks down in pained expression of remorse for own loss of self control" "cuts to friend in hospital" "That was just so great of you seb. i think i love
you!" "and i, my darling, love
you!" *camera cuts to big long closeup of kiss in hospital*
you see? i could just make up a whole three scenes from your little episode.