Kung Pow: Enter the Fist

Cast : Bunch on no-names

Intro: They've taken an old martial arts movie in all it's originally odd storyline, tweaked it in a few places and digitally placed in a character and redubbed over the lines with differrent lines.

Plot: As a young baby all his family were killed by an evil guy named Master Pain who has an attack of throwing metal hand claws at people and using them to rip flesh off. Anyhow the baby fights back and manages to run off into the night and is raised...by rodents I think and is obviously on a quest to find Master Pain and avenge his parent's death.

Now, the first part has it's funny moments, most noticibly when the guy's torso has a hole punched through but it get's a lot better in my mind once they begin to use the old film footage and have that dubbed over.
In fact there aren't really jokes or one-liners as such...rather the whole idea of the people saying what they are is hilarious shown as at one stage the old master figure is walking through the courtyard singing "Taco Bell, Taco Bell. Product placement at Taco Bell.."

Anywho...they meet up, after the main character[who has a special gift and it dubbed "the chosen one"] trains a fair pit and well the ending is rather a let down but I guess that's all they could think of.

So..if you can rent it out of $3 bucks for a week like I have then I suggest you rent it out, but be in the mood for cheesy jokes and stupid laughs...maybe a sugar high might be needed as there aren't any thought provoking moments in this entire film, and just watch it once, have a laugh and then wonder why you did once it finishes.

8/10 (Because it does what it was meant to do, made me laugh)

Rules of Attraction

This is a reply to the review of Rules of Attraction...

You obviously didn't get it.

This movie reminded me of American Beauty -- both in content and cinematography. Now, American Beauty was a widely popular movie if I remember correctly -- Rules of Attraction could have been a foreign or indie film by comparison. But both movies delve into the morbid world of human psychology, pushing the boundaries on what is "acceptable," provoking thought as to why people do what they do and feel what they feel.

The suicide that "comes out of nowhere" was actually one of the plot points that, looking back, you feel you should have seen coming all along. Remember that girl in the background at the bonfire? Remember the mysterious love notes? If you pay attention, you'll notice the notes are not from Lauren (as Sean assumes) but rather from an anonymous wallflower who is much too painfully shy to make her affections known. She commits suicide after realizing he doesn't even know she exists. The fact that the movie barely pays attention to her is a comment on most people's self-absorption; their inability to notice the less outspoken of society, the way we so often miss the signs that something has gone seriously wrong.

I know it is a difficult movie to follow. It starts in the middle, backs up to the beginning, explains the side stories that have had a part in bringing him where he is today (so to speak), and tying it all together just in time for an abrupt end to the movie (in the middle of a sentence, if I remember correctly). To say it was not thought-provoking is to admit you were waiting for the movie to think for you, as so many often do. The Rules of Attraction asks you to draw your own conclusions -- it asks you to pay attention, but cannot force you to do so. If you miss the point, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

Or maybe you were so shocked at the unconventionality of the material displayed that you couldn't grow up enough to get the point. I guess the "homosexual fantasies" and "excessive drug use" were just too distracting.

I give this movie full marks, but wouldn't reccommend it to anyone who isn't able to handle some very mature and rather disturbing material. (The drunken, videotaped rape scene at the beginning was a bit difficult to watch.) Not a good one to watch with the family, but brilliant if you want something to really pick apart and analyze.

Le D?ner de Cons subtitled in English The Dinner Game. (Actually translates to "The Idiot Dinner")

Cast: About seven French people.

Language: French, available with English subtitles.

Plot: A group of yuppies has a hobby: they meet for dinner every week, each bringing with him a stranger he has recently met (or even had someone else meet for him) whom he finds amusingly stupid. The men let the guests entertain them by prodding them with questions about themselves, even to let them talk to each other, never letting on that they are the butt of their jokes. The man with the biggest idiot wins.

M. Bredant, a publisher, is one of these voyeurs. He meets M. Pignon, a tax clerk who obsesses over his matchstick models of famous buildings. Bredant finds Pignon's personality stupid enough to make him a sure winner, and invites him to dinner. He first invites Pignon to his house. However, before Pignon arrives, Bredant hurts his back and cannot make the dinner. Pignon's wife hears for the first time the cruel intent of these weekly dinners and is incensed. She leaves for the evening. Pignon arrives, finds Bredant laid up and tries to help but makes it worse. Meanwhile, Bredant's wife calls and tells him she's not coming home. From here, Pignon tries to help clear up this situation, but his mistakes continue to build on each other, creating a bigger and bigger mess.

My opinion:One of the better thought-out of such comedies I've seen in a long time. 09/10

Swimming Pool

Starring: Charlotte Rampling, Ludivigne Sagnier
Language: English, with French
Director: Fran?ois Ozon

Plot: In an attempt to relax and catch some inspiration, mystery author Sarah Morton leaves London to stay at her publisher's home in France. The rural locale is perfect for Sarah to begin working on her new book, until her publishers daughter, Julie, arrives without warning. Her wild, sexual personality immediately clashes with Sarah's proper demeanour. Unable to concentrate on her novel with Julie's wild partying, Sarah soon finds new inspiration in her unlikely roommate. Their love/hate relationship soon sparks a series of events both dangerous, and possibly deadly.

My Opinion: The movie starts slowly. Half an hour in, I was almost wondering why I spent my $7. But, it picks up soon after that, when Julie arrives, and is gripping until the end. Both actresses give wonderful performances in their own respects. The movie offers a few twists that definitely make it a worthwhile watch
8.5/10

<B>Cast Away</B>
<B>Cast</B>: Tom Hanks, Helen Hunt
<B>Plot</B>: Tom Hanks is on a FedEx plane and it gets caught in a tropical storm which sends them crashing down in the middle of the Pacific ocean somewhere. Everyone but him is killed instantly. It's sheer luck he survives, and finds land somewhere off the Cooke Islands. He has his lifesaving boat from the plane, and a few packages that washed up on shore with him (eventually, he opens up all the packages--more to see if there was anything to survive, but keeps one package unopened). For four years, he's left to fend for himself (and also loses a ton of weight)until he finds a (I think) Port-a-Potty wall and decides to use it as a sail so he can escape from the island. He eventually loses the sail but a ship finds him after a nasty storm, takes him in and back home. He finds his girlfriend married off to his old dentist, and that they held a funeral for him. After everything is cleared up, he sends the package he didn't open back to the owner.
<B>Opinion</B>: I liked it. I wouldn't recommend this to just anybody because not everybody would like it/understand it. It has very very little dialogue, understandably, and I don't think everybody would also understand the friendship between Tom Hanks and the volleyball either. Just..know that it kept him sane for four years.
I liked this movie because it took an ordinary person and set him up in extraordinary events that made him scramble on figuring out how to live well by himself (for example, how long it took for him to make fire), the shelter he sets up before deciding to dwell in a cave. It shows that if all technology is taken away from an ordinary man, he will live in caveman-like lifestyles. Also, I liked how it showed how he thought, trying to figure things out and whatnot. I give it a 9/10.

Soylent Green

Cast:

• Charton Heston as Thorn
• Edward G. Robinson as Sol

Plot: The world is overpopulated, not only that but most of the plant life on earth is all but gone. The year is 2022 and the city of New York has 40 million people pretty much living in slums awaiting government handouts of small bricks of food in various colours: Red, yellow and the movie's namesake: Soylent Green.

Thorn is a overworked cop who has a old friend [Sol]( who remembers the days of eating real food, like vegetables, fruit and meat) as a research assistant. Thorn has numerous unsolved murder cases but the latest is one that he plans not to give up on. The latest man killed was a chairman on the Soylent company board and a close friend of the governor.
Thorn quickly finds himself being followed and key witnesses killed as he and Sol try and find out why the man was killed. Corruption in the polic force is rife, with Thorn stealing expensive food stuffs from crime scenes as well as his cheif wanting the case to be closed (bribed, of course).

Once Sol finds out the truth about Soylent Green he "goes home" in a euthanasia ceremony and Thorn follows the removed bodies to the factory where they are made into Soylent Green. After being followed and shot at he takes refuge in a church and once the stalker is dead is carried out on a stretcher shouting the famous line: "Soylent Green is people".
FIN

Opinion: I loved it. From the opening music montage which I think is wonderful: showing the development of industrialisation which leads to the eventual crowding and then death of the surrounding is very nicely done in my mind.
The ideals on the position of women is odd, very much a step back with women, known as furniture, coming with the more high rent places.
It wsa amazing to find out after that I had watched the movie that Edward G. Robinson was almost deaf when he starred in this, his last movie, which brings me to something that really affected me.

When Sol, Edward G. Robinson, undergoes his euthanasia procedure I actially cried.
For the first time watching something either on TV or in a movie... I cried.

I was so sad.

Charlton Heston actually had real tears as his watched the ceremony, his inspiration was knowing that this was most like Edward G. Robinson's last movie (his 101st) and in fact it was. He died a few weeks after the scene was shot.

So all in all a great movie that actually was stronger in emotion than I expected. Watching the trailer I can't imagine why no-one wouldn't have guessed what the secret to Soylent Green is, but actually if you watch the movie, without knowing the truth it isn't bleedingly obvious what the secret is, despite what I've heard. Although for a thinking movie, there isn't that much thinking to be done.

5 stars...great.

the Big Lewbowski

Cast:

• Jeff Brides - the Dude
• John Goodman - Walter
• Steve Busemi - Donny

Plot: the Dude finds himself the target of a pair of debt collectors who mistake him for another Jeff Lewbowski. The Dude's over zealous bowling buddy Walter convinces him to go to the millionaire Lewbowski and ask for compensation. Lewbowski, despite his apparent chartible profiel, doesn't like the idea one bit and tells him to bascially f-off.
Lewbowski's trophy bimbo wife is apparently kidnapped and so in order to not endanger the real Lewbowski, they ask the Dude to take his place in the handover. Walter has differing ideas on how it should be done and the whole thing is screwed up, with the bimbo wife not handed over.

Anywho...I'll stop now otherwise I'll be here forever. Put simply everyone isn't being as true to the three bowling buddies: the Dude, Walter and Donnie and Walter manages to make a mess of little things.

Opinion: Different and quite funny. Not half as much violent as Fargo, another Coen brother's movie(I think) and I have an odd fondness to Steve Buscemi, even in such a minor role as this one (which is why I mentioned him up the top as he was one of the few I could remember).


All it need was a heart wrenching classically scored scene and I would have put it as high as Soylent Green

4/5 stars.

Pirates of the Caribbean

It has the bloke who played Gareth in the Office as a pirate with a wooden eye, who later gets a fork stuck in it. Therefore, it is great. Nuff said.

Akira Korusawa's Dreams:

Based on the actual dreams of the acclaimed director, it is a collection of 8 individual dream sequences. Ranging from the destruction of Japan by way of Mount Fuji's eruption to a group of men trying to find their way through a blizzard, the dreams are both vivid and engrossing. For the most part they share the common themes of nature versus machine, the ignorance of man, and the perils of becoming to reliant on technology.

Branching off from the conventions of classical hollywood cinema, the film may seem ackward to most viewers, but Korusawa rectifies this by keeping the dreams linear and avoids lots of cuts and scene-changes. The dreams are straight forward in cinematography, straying from modern-day conventions.

At times it may seem slow, but in my opinion it deserves all the praise that it gets. Having to read the subtitles might turn some people off as well. I high recommend giving it a shot though if your local rental place has it.

I give it 5 out of 5 stars.

Lord of the Rings: Return of the King

So sue me, I am a big LOTR fan. I loved this movie, not only becuase it brought together several story lines and made an excellent conclucion to an excellent trilogy. (It should have been that way, as it was based on the book...)
This movie absolutely blew me away. I think the casting for this movie, and the previous two, was completely perfect. (side note: they originally hired someone else to play Aragorn, but realized he was wrong for the part.) The entire cast seemed to be caught up in the storyline and made the movie. It would not have been as good as it was had it not been for the incredible acting.
I am extremely glad that the production team did not rely entirely on special effects, there was no fake feel to the movie, which makes you feel as though you are really there. Though it was a long movie, even after 3 1/2 hours, I was still sad to see the movie end.

All in all a fantastic movie...10, perfect 10

Song of the South

A little while back, I had a full shelf in my room of Disney classics, or at least, those that I liked most. Of course, the usual suspects were lined up on that shelf- Fantasia, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast; some less-known Disney masterpieces were there too, like The Fox and The Hound. Still, my collection felt incomplete, somehow. In particular, I can think of one film that deserved a little golden throne on that shelf: Song of the South. Sadly, it still isn?t on American shelves, and probably won?t be for a little while.

Disney has withheld on releasing the film for a handful of reasons, mainly, issues of political correctness and depictions of the black cast in the film. But I don?t see a racist frame in the whole reel of that movie. I just see a Disney classic masterpiece, a sparkling warm-hearted story highlighted by resplendent acting and incredible animation.

The plot is a simple and homey relic of the era when Disney hadn?t quite fallen in love with grandiose plotlines involving at the least an entire town and a minimum of one prince/princess. Johnny (Bobby Driscoll) is a rich white southern boy set ambiguously recently following the end of the civil war, and of slavery (though the movie does well not to bring either issue up at all). Upon arriving for a ?visit? to his grandmother?s house with his parents, his parents reveal that the visit is to be permanent: for reasons left vague Johnny?s father leaves Johnny and his mother, Sally (Ruth Warrick), at the grandmother?s plantation, presumably never to return. While on the plantation, Johnny befriends the local underdogs, namely, a little black boy that serves for depthless comic relief named Toby (played by Glenn Leedy), a girl he begins to care for, despite her being- well- the white trash of the time, whose name is Ginny (Luana Patten) and, by far most importantly, the blissful black bard Uncle Remus (James Baskett).

Johnny is constantly distraught over his father?s flight, and despite minor distractions that cheer him up (Ginny and Toby), other minor conflicts, such as repeated fights with Ginny?s obnoxious brothers, only worsen Johnny?s mood; the grandmother (Lucile Watson) aptly summarizes the situation for Johnny?s mother by stating that Johnny needs his father, period. In his father?s wake, Johnny befriends Uncle Remus, mainly through the vastly entertaining and colorful stories he tells, which in the movie are played as cartoon shorts juxtaposed in between lengths of real-life footage. After a plot twist at the end heightens the conflict to the point where it (and Johnny?s bones) snap and lay broken, waiting for restoration and resolution, the duo of Uncle Remus (and his stories) and Johnny?s father (Erik Rolf) appear by Johnny?s side as the deus ex machina, and all is well in the humble southern plantation again.

The child actors are, as essentially all child actors in such simple movies are, highly annoying. The facial contortions of the six-year-olds on the silver screen trying to squeeze out a tear practically elicit guffaws, but that?s to be expected- both of child actors expected to play such heavy roles and of the acting at the time. Though most of the main characters, the children can be overlooked in terms of the movie?s overall acting. The excellent portrayal of Uncle Remus via the highly talented Baskett more than carries the dead weight of the children. Actually, Baskett?s stellar work in Song of the South almost carries the whole film on its own. The Remus character is truly the centerpiece of the movie (the movie was originally to be titled Uncle Remus). He is contagiously jovial, and seemingly supremely sage in the wisdom he imparts via his stories (though we see that his stories get him in trouble with Sally, the resolution reveals that the real problem was Sally, not Remus? stories), not to mention the very source of the panacean and entertaining cartoon-ified Br?er Rabbit tales which ultimately manifest themselves in the plot, later saving Johnny?s life and erasing the line between Remus? tales and Johnny?s world.

The tales could be a movie on their own, and if they were, I?d give them five stars without hesitation. The actual animation, despite being half a century old, is simply sublime. Character design is beautiful and each character, from Br?er Rabbit the tricky underdog to Br?er Fox the dastardly deceiver to Br?er Bear the bumbling titan, has a gorgeously painted character with a hilarious personality and wild antics. Soundtrack, while cheesy and overdramatic in the real-life footage, is superb in the cartoon shorts- who hasn?t danced to Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah? The music and characters from these shorts have survived unscathed through to this very day with constant cameos in Disney movies and renewed re-releases of the memorable and amazingly catchy songs: Br?er Bear even cameos in Disney?s latest animated feature, The Lion King 1 ?. There is no question to the prodigious quality of Disney?s cartoon renditions of Joel Chandler Harris? Uncle Remus folktales. Coupled with Baskett?s acting, which earned him an honorary Academy Award, the rest of the film is almost inconsequential.

The film lacks any racist undertones that would make it inappropriate for its target audience: children. The film itself treats the audience as a child, simultaneously a good thing and a bad thing, naturally. The plot is nothing special, but is a good storyline for a Disney movie. Cinematography is fine- nothing great, nothing sub-par. As a Disney movie I?d give it five stars. As a movie, period, it still wins at least four stars. If only Disney could still work this kind of magic.

Underworld

I'f you're going on the costumes and CGI in this film then it rates ten out of ten. However, it was somewhat lacking in many other aspects.

The main plot of the film is vampires vs. Lycans (werewolves). This at first sounds interesting, but then after the primary monologue and first scene you realise it is simply going to be a battle of the best gunners. Before even a base of a plot has been established, there are bullets flying, and yes, its on the underground (Matrix, anyone?), and the problem of "sunlight bullets" from the Lycans is imposed on the vampires before we really get to know any of them.

Now I of course loved the lair of the vampire coven, a smoky gothic mansion, which is full of vampires, no surprises there. However, we only meet around four of them, something I found disappointing. Also, many scenes which could have been expanded were cut short, which left the film lacking a certain sense of wholeness.

The creatures in the film, vampires and lycans, which are supposed to be powerful, somewhat magical beings, should rely on their own powers to battle, not that of their modern day weapons. The overuse of guns in this film just took away all the elements of fantasy and added alements of Hollywood's need for firearms. I counted one person get bitten by a vampire in this film, yet numerous get shot.

The ending of the film seemed rushed; a battle was set, and never played, just cut short with a few muddled scenes of crammed information, ending in inconclusiveness, not even wonder.

By the way, beakman, I salute your avatar.

Stand by Me

Director: Rob Reiner

Cast: River Phoenix, Corey Feldmen, Wil Wheaton, Jerry O'Connell, Kiefer Sutherland

made in 1986 set in 1960

Stand by Me was based on a Stephen King Novella(short story). Stephen King has a reputation of making bad movies out of his books, but this one was very good. It's not a horror flick, but more of a drama. Its about four twelve-year-old boys (Phoenix, Feldmen, Wheaton, and O'Connell) who go looking for the body of Ray Brower. Ray Brower is a kid who's been missing for two days and it's all over the radio. O'Connell's character, Vern, over hears his older brother, Billy, talking with his friend, Charlie, about how they stummbled upon his body while driving through the woods. Since they boosted said car so they don't want to report it and get caught. So Vern, Teddy(Feldmen), Chris(Phoenix), and Gordie(Wheaton) decide to go out looking for it. It turns into a two day treck along the train tracks, they confront the older bullies which include Ace(Sutherland), Vern's older brother, along with some other guys; and have to face a lot of things in their lives. It's a movie about friendship, and a coming of age. I really loved this movie, probally one of my favorites. It's got some humor in it, feel good, moments, sad moments, and all that great stuff. The Casting was great, and directing was just great. This is a must see movie, I highly recommend it.
10/10

<b>Fight Club</b>

Amazing movie, had everything a good movie should. Intelligence, action, philosophy, love, sex, nudity, cult credit, everything.

Perfect score, 10/10

Vanilla Sky

Directed by Cameron Crowe

Starring Tom Cruise, Penelope Cruz, Jason Lee, Kurt Russell, Cameron Diaz.

Plot: A wealthy playboy by the name of David Aames(Cruise) pretty much has everything he's wanted in life, or so it seems. He has a beautiful Plaza Hotel penthouse apartment, a vintage Ford Mustang, an original Monet painting, amongst many, many more things. One night, at his birthday party, he meets a girl, Sofia Serrano(Cruz), through his best friend, Brian Shelby(Lee). Sofia and David quickly get around to spending the night together, but not in any sexual way. After that night with Sofia, which was mostly spent talking and listening to music, David leaves to go to work at his publishing company that was left to him by his father. As he approaches his car, an estranged lover, Giulianna Gianni(Diaz), invites him for a car ride. After interrogating him and not getting the answers she wanted, she quickly drives the car off of a bridge, killing herself and brutalizing David.

David goes on to live with his disfigured face, taking you on a thrill ride of love, dreams, sex, friends, music, and work. It is hard to tell the difference between dreams and reality. It all becomes completely distorted, and then comes together perfectly in the end.

Opinion: Wonderful, wonderful film. I can't express how much it means. You have to watch it a few times to understand the plot, because after the car crash, it quickly moves into high gear, leaving you desperate to keep up. Crowe does an awesome job with mixing things up chronologically, leaving you to put the pieces together. The first time you watch it, you cannot tell the difference between David's dreams and reality. But, in the end, it comes together in perfect harmony, each and every aspect of the film complementing itself and each other. The camera work was incredible, capturing many, many perspectives on New York City. The acting was awesome, and I feel that this may have been one of Tom Cruise's first mature roles, along with The Last Samurai. I highly recommend this film if you like films that make you think.

Van Helsing

a fine little movie, if you enjoy goofy over the top CGI-fests.

Hugh Jackman stars as a mysterious killer for the vatican, a pre-industrial fox mulder, investigating and eliminating paranormal threats to humanity.

not a smart movie, it doesn't take itself seriously, even the actors deliver their lines tongue in cheek.

it steals characters from classic horror stories, mixes them with a dash of humour and lots of good effects, and gives a good rental effort.

the story: van helsing is a man employed by the vatican to solve problems posed by the paranormal. he has little memory of his past, but we learn that he must be either hundreds of years old, or reborn several times. he is sent to transylvania to deal with a plague of vampires, werewolves, and frankenstein's monster. he is also to help ensure the souls of a family dedicated to dracula's destruction are able to enter heaven.

it opens with a weirdly 20's rendition of the climax from frankenstien, jumps to the hunt for mr hyde, enters the bowels of the vatican, romps through rumania, and ends with a pretty sunrise.

in between are improbable escapes, wild fights, silly one-lines, and much over-done acting.

it reminded me of LXG, but more ludicrous.

i liked it........and reccommend it to anyone who enjoys comic books, hugh jackman, and kate beckinsdale (or whatever the fuck her name is)

not worth 10 bucks, but way worth the cost of a rental.

<b>Dancer in the Dark</b>

This film is so many kinds of insane that only a computer could count them.

Dancer is about a woman named Selma, (played by Bj?rk), who is struggling to keep a living and bring up her son. She has a few acquaintances and has families that give her support, but she doesn't have enough to even afford her own home. Selma's passion is Hollywood musicals, which are her only mental escape.

The film follows her dealing with a crime that gets out of hand, but is brilliantly depicted through her perspective. It strays off into Selma's mind, and everything turns into a musical number.

Between the musical numbers, however, is the most depressing film I've ever seen. You will bawl like a child like a child leaving Disneyland at the end of the day.

11 out of 10, if this is possible...

Russian Ark


Director: Alexander Sokurov

Actors:
Sergey Dreiden as a STRANGER
Maria Kuznetsova as CATHERINE THE GREAT
Leonid Mozgovoy as THE SPY
Mikhail Piotrovsky as Himself
David Giorgobiani as ORBELI
Alexander Chaban as BORIS PIOTROVSKY
Lev Yeliseyev as Himself
Oleg Khmelnitsky as Himself
Alla Osipenko as Herself
Artem Strelnikov as a talented boy
Tamara Kurenkova as Herself
Maxim Sergeyev as PETER THE GREAT
Natalia Nikulenko as CATHERINE THE FIRST
Yelena Rufanova as the first lady
Yelena Spiridonova as the second lady

Yuliy Zhurin as NICHOLAS I
Svetlana Svirko as ALEXANDRA FEDOROVNA, A SPOUSE OF NICHOLAS I
Kostantin Anisimov as the First Cavalier
Alexey Barabash as the Second Cavalier
Ilia Shakunov as the Third Cavalier
Alexander Kulikov as the Fourth Cavalier
Anna Aleksahina as ALEXANDRA FYODOROVNA, A SPOUSE OF NICHOLASII
Vladimir Baranov as NICHOLAS II
Valentin Bukin as a Military Official
Svetlana Gaitan as a Custodian at The Museum
Vadim Guschin as a Grandee of Catherine The Great
Kiril Dateshidze as a Master of Ceremonies
Michael Dorofeyev as the First Card Player
Valentina Yegorenkova as a Maid of Honour of Catherine The Great
Oleg Losev as a Court Official
Vadim Lobanov as a Chamberlain
Vladimir Lisetsky as a Court Minister
Alexander Malnykin as a Batman of Peter The Great
Kirill Miller as a Court official
Victor Mikhailov as a Court Official
Sergey Muchenikov as a Museum Official
Sergey Nadporozhsky as a Court Official
Yuri Orlov as a Grandee of Catherine The Great
Alexander Razbash as a Museum Official
Vladimir Sevastyanikhin as an Under-tutor of the Heir
Svetlana Smirnova as a Widow
Boris Smolkin as CHANCELLOR NESSELRODE
Yevgeny Filatov as the Second Card-player
Jury Khomutyansky as an Insane Italian
Anatoly Shvedersky as a Marshal

Plot: In one continous shot of 90 minutes Alexander Sokurov tells four centuries of Russian history. Shot at the Hermatige, a famous Russian palace, and now a famous Russian museum, the camera takes you through 35 rooms, four centuries, with the help of 850 extras and actors.

Review: I enjoyed this movie very much and how it smoothly went from scene to scene. It is presented in Russian with English subtitles so for English speaking viewers it is hard to follow, but it is worth it! It showcases how Russia, and it's people, have changed over time. The acting is superb, and the music is wonderful. I loved ho it ended, and especially loved the Cathrine the Great scene. 9/10[url][/url]

Alien VS Predator
Certificate:15

Review: Ok then this is my verdict of AVP cool movie but with some bits it was disappointing. Certainly the special effects were tremendous the Face-Huggers and the actual Aliens were brilliant with special effects.
The Predator designs, weapons and vision were brilliant i loved them. The acting was good but not spectacular could have been better.

Plot: Really the whole plot to the movie is a group of scientists that are being led by the Weyland company find an underground palace 2000 feet beneath the ice of Antarctica and they believe it may be the first traces of human civilasation. But what they discover is something else... During this time a clan of Predators are there for a hunting session... they eventually hunt the humans down and kill them off one by one, also the humans are being infected by the face-huggers to unleash the aliens. The Aliens and Predators then have cool fights to try and kill each other off.
And the rest you must find out for yourself...

Final Conclusion: Its a great movie if you don't understand the plot but if you do then this is a good movie as well... Well have fun watching this epic fight.

THX 1138

I saw George Lucas's THX 1138.
It's all white and it made me want to cry and die.
So it's official, all of his films bore me.

The Anarchist Cookbook

My favorite movie of the past year.

Basic premise is of a kid named Puck who lives in an anarchist collective. It's a peaceful, anti-violent way of living until Johnny Black arrives (obviously the 'bad guy') and brings back the popularity of the Anarchist Cookbook, a manual of violent methods of raising awareness. The little clan of activists goes downhill from there, and this is quite a summary, and Puck ends up getting separated from his friends. Johnny Black tracks him down again, makes him feel guilty, etc. I won't tell you who wins or whatnot in the end, but it's excellent. I have done this movie little justice so far.

The irony of the whole story is that Puck was once a model student, member of many clubs, a joiner his whole life. When he went to college he felt lost and without his labels, so he dropped out and became a part of this collective. He pretends to be a part of the ultimate statement of individuality, but really he did it all to simply be a part of something. He was more of a true anarchist before he called himself one.

One Million Years B.C.

Starring: Raquel Welch, John Richardson

This is the stunningly poignant story of survival against all odds. It is a blinding tour de force. You can feel the difficulty of living in prehistoric times.

One of the things that struck me most about this film is the challenging plot and dialogue, illustrated by my viewing companion's frequent use of the word "what?"

I would recommend this as the perfect date movie. Your love will bloom, much like the love of Yo-Tawnya and the man's name that I do not remember.

Two Rob Schneider films

1) The Animal
Rob Schneider
Michael Caton
Colleen Haskell
A faggy aspiring police officer is rescued from a car wreck by a nutty professor who fixes him up with some animal organs, instantly making him the biggest, fastest and strongest officer on the force. Unfortunately he cannot control some of his 'baser' animal urges. Hilarity ensues.

This film is not great, I'll say that now, but it is fun to watch on a boozy saturday night with some friends who don't mind embarrassing themselves with you. Schneider is a pretty good physical comedian and has a nice body in this film. It's a funny film that doesn't need any more description than whats above, because really, that's all it is.
See it for Colleen Haskell, the prettiest love-interest I've ever seen on film.

2) The Hot Chick

Jessica, a lovely, bitchy highschool girl swaps bodies with a hairy 30yr old man because of some ancient voodoo earrings. When she learns she can't trade on her looks when she looks like Rob Schneider, she becomes a nicer person.

Okay, first I should warn you. Rob Schneider DOES NOT look good in a tube top and little cotton panties. NOT AT ALL.
That said, this film is pretty cute and has some pretty funny lines. Schneider is an excellent mimic and has a way with subtle movement that makes him really cute as a girl. There are some painfully embarrassing moments in this movies, but some surprisingly touching ones as well.
This movie rides on Jessica's friend April (Anna Faris/ Farris) and for me, her little brother Booger (Matt Weinberg). Once again, with this movie no-one need ever know you watched it and had a laugh.

(By the way, Adam Sandler is really cute in both these films)

<b>Finding Neverland.</b>



If you haven't seen this yet then I strongly recommend you run out right now and see it. Of course you may not be into this kind of drama...you may prefer Johnny Depp in his Pirates of the Caribbean turn (not that that was a bad film) or perhaps you prefer him as Donnie Brasco . But in all honesty, if you obtain even the slightest enjoyment from watching the movies of this actor then this is a film to see.

It is beautifully shot - rich colours, great camera work, beautiful costumes, wonderful sets. Everything in the film evokes a sense of childlike wonder tinged with adult understanding which in turn emphasises the themes of the film and the ideas of the play that JM Barrie is so famous for creating. The performances are magical - from Johnny Depp to Kate Winslet, from all the young actors to Julie Christie, and up to the unexpected appearance of Dustin Hoffman - it is a smorgasboard of talent. If Johnny Depp doesn't get an Oscar nod out of this (if not the bloody award itself) then that awards system is as screwed up as I usually believe it to be. He is simply magnificent.

Girls, take some tissues. Guys, take your girl! This is a wonderful film.