Hey, I did that eventually.

"Everyone else, please take off all your clothes."

If every time I open my mouth you are going to ignore me, or tell me I'm dead wrong, why do you keep asking me questions?

**Begin scathing sarcasm***
Oh well now that the Dow Jones is over 9000 we are all saved. Woo-Hoo now we don't have to worry about the half million people losing there jobs every week. The Dow hit 9000 all of our problems are solved. Now we don't have to worry about a system of bad corporate management that puts corporations in a position of chasing (the impossible goal of) never ending growth. You know the reason that so many companies operated stores that made no profit and never would. That big reason that most companies needed a line of credit just to make pay roll. None of that matters because the Dow hit 9000 and the world is perfect again.
**End scathing sarcasm**

Hey asshat I'm trying to enjoy my breakfast. Do you mind telling your kids to sit the F*** down. This is not a playground. So next time one of them runs past my table, screaming at the top of their lungs, and waving their arms, they are catching a clothesline.

"Wow, I think she actually managed to achieve a coherent and intelligent thought... Nevermind..."

"Hey, asshat, yeah, you! You just made my day."

"Hey, Jake, I'm over here. You wanna try looking at my new shirt? I got it for Christmas and it looks really good with my new push up bra and the chest I've recently discovered is a size B32."

"There's this wonderful thing you don't have called a brain Gina. This is why you sit there twisting your nose stud saying 'I don't get it...'."

"Jake's hat is dark blue <i>Ashley</i>. You're an idiot for thinking it's deep lavender. Bet you don't know which team's logo that is *coughTampaBaycough*."

"Yes Ms.McKenna, because you said so is the perfect excuse for making us act out a scene from the Oddesy."

Wait. You want me to go to different restaurants, bring some kind of paperwork to sell them the kind of wine that I love to drink. I get to wake up anytime I want, I get to sell as much as I want, and if I sell a lot, I get promoted in a month and all of my gas is reimbursed? Where do I fucking sign?

"I'm putting the house on the market in a few months. You should really think about moving out."

"FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU, NEW MEXICO!!!"

You are the center of the stupid teen drama-angst that goes on around here. Change your ways or go the fuck away.

"So Jake, care to explain to me why it is that Monday and today I wore shirts that emphasized my chest, but yesterday when I wore a shirt so big it looked like I didn't have one at all you couldn't stop watching me?"

"No, please, I enjoy having my toes trod upon, it feels good, keep doing it..."

"Hello Ms. Chatty Kathy Librarian, <i>OVER HERE</i>!!! My computer won't turn off and I have this fun thing called <i>class</i> to get to...You <i>do</i> remember this is a school, <i>right</i>?"

"Note to self, send Mason a friendly gift for helping me...God knows the librarian wasn't gonna. Oh well, she's a stupid cunt..."

"John, could you be a sweetie and shove your opinions up your ass? You have no idea how metrosexual you sound right now, and I'm a big girl, i can make my own damn outfits."

"Lauren, please, can't you see I'm busy watching Jake? come back in a couple hours."

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