This one. This one is because I fucking can.



I now amble aimlessly about the internet. It's lost its sheen, its originality, and its wonder. It's just another place which exists that I can't be bothered searching for new things. Comfortable, like the town you live in. You might stumble upon a new place which is amazing occasionally, but only the rabidly avid go in search of such places. BUT, when you're somewhere new, exciting, different, you lap that shit up. You go to every lame, sleazy, cheap, featureless tourist shithole, because that's what you can find, and you love it, because it's local.

Fuck this internet, it's boring now; dated and weak. It holds few surprises, and frankly I have seen more terrifyingly pederastical* shit than I ever needed to see.

I propose they build a new internet. I propose that it starts here.
Er, the place to be, is here. The time to be, is now.





*I have invented this word for the purposes of describing anything which offends my sensibilities on par with, or greater than, the image of a man fucking a young boy.

KITTIES!

Kitties are banned from the new internet; it shall be a decidedly antifeline oligarchy overlorded by a select few gentlemen of a certain sass and vigour, capable of levitating the benchmarks of creativity by just a touch, and moderating content to banish the insipid; particularly anything with fucking cats in it, or anything remotely cat related.*


*Horribly overwrought sentences consummate with excessive adjectiveage are entirely acceptable however.

You're a dick.

Puppies?!

I suppose the Spambots will find that speech interesting.

I refuse to be disheartened just because I am surrounded by mediocrity, and I refuse to resign myself to your boredom. I assume that once some of you were capable of a remotely creative thought, and maybe even contributed one on the internet. This is exactly what I'm talking about, but please, feel free to continue your naysaying and soporific blahdom.

You don't need a comma with an, "And". You already have a break with the, "And"; it's an unnecessary redundancy and would never due for proper professional communication where time is money.

It will due what it is required to due.

Didn't the original thread title have a period at the end?

Why thank you Cass, for finding my type-O. That's pretty much the extent of your usefulness.

Oh hello hypocrisy

No, that's not hypocrisy. And I do have other uses, like fucking your mom.


Hey, I made this thread interesting. I took a thread planted in a barren and forgotten section of the internet and gave it a sparkle; something to stand out to the majority users: bots.

lawl Cass is bored.
My relationship with the internet is still strong and interesting, mostly because it's very much a sexual relationship.

Yeah, don't worry; his boyfriend will return his call.

Probably not. I sure wouldn't.

May as well say Happy Birthday to Cass here. I would make a thread but it would no doubt be lost in a sea of spam in but a few seconds.

Oh this again

Hooray Cass' birthday! I will celebrate by not celebrating at all.

I will celebrate by watching RuPaul's Drag Race, then drinking with friends, then probably going to my boyfriend's house. Heady times.

LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE. Everyone else can suck my dick.

/me indiscriminately flings stones in all directions

You have sinned greatly against the English language. And nobody wants to suck your dick for it's too small; it's not that cold in here.

Now, I understand your errors in the English language are due to your inferior education level; you have my sympathies.

I suggest taking a few English courses at your local community college or your equivalent.

Ahahaha, I am more convinced than ever that Virgil is just a giant troll. I mean, his calling Cass undereducated is so absurd that that simply has to be the explanation. I mean, Virgil? Seriously? Aaaahhh.

Also, methinks the lady (Virgil) doth protest too much in re: the sucking of dick.

(I would like you all to know that I typed "the sucking of duck" and almost left it there.)

I suspect that Virgil has been taking English classes at his community college and it has furnished him with a misguided superiority complex. I'm pretty sure I've never seen him use a semicolon before, even if he doesn't really have the hang of it yet.

The point, though, is getting rather lost amidst Virgil's homophobic outbursts. Though it could be argued that these punctuate it perfectly, to make a slightly droll pun.