Let the flame wars commence!

ALRIGHT I ADMIT IT I STOPPED PAYING ATTENTION TO THE LIGHTSABERS BECAUSE THEY WERE JUST LOTS OF WHITE FLASHES REALLY FAST AND I GOT A HEADACHE

;_;

Also the article was incredibly funny. It had a good old insult of the scenes everyone seems to have loathed and blacked out and also seemed to specifically pick out the scenes I praised in order to mock my exact words

For next week, I've prepared a biting satire of everything you've uttered in private for the past month..

That does it you bloody Scot I'm writing an article where I compare you by proxy to a nonhuman primate.

I haven't actually seen it yet, so I'm unable to sympathise.

Is it really all that bad?

Depends.

If you look past the shitty flaws, such as the bad dialogue(seriously, really bad. Such as Yoda: "Not if anything to do with it, I have"), the pain of watching decent actors struggle with aforementioned dialogue, and all round poor execution.

That said, if you simply don't think about what's going on, and watch it as a plain, simple action film, you'll probably have a better time.

I find that deeply offensive; I was born in Norwich.

This primate... is she, uh... cute?

Worse.

The only scene you didn't mention (and I was rather dissapointed by this) was the last one when Darth Vader had to break the chains in order to yell the ominous word "NOOOO!!!" of course you may have been in a coma by then and not have remembered it.

Damn, I can't resist the pull of completing the series.

I have however resisted the third Matrix movie, so maybe, just maybe, I can somehow restrain myself from watching Episode 3.

Come off it you twats... you cannot possibly be trying to imply that the original Star Wars trilogy had superior dialogue?!
"Oh, I was going to go down to Tosche Station and pick up some power converters!"

"When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I am the Master." "Only a master of evil, Darth."

It's camp! It's supposed to be shite!

I haven't seen Episode II yet. I'm so bad .

The third Matrix sucks. I can't even imagine this Star Wars sucking more than the last installment of the Matrix trilogy.

Ah, but the original trilogy was fun. This is pompous and dreary. Can you imagine anyone in I-III saying "someone get this walking carpet out of my way"?

Plus, it doesn't have enough inadvertent innuendo:

"Pull out, Chewie, you're not doing any good back there."
"Get down there, you big hairy oaf, I don't care how bad it smells."
etc.

Anyone's who welded knows that when you hit a pocket of moisture, it expands creating a "Pop". Lightsabres, being hot enough to cut through bone in an instant, would also cause the part of the human body's moisture, (the human body being mostly water), to rapidly expand, pop and spray bodly fluids all over the place. A lightsabre wound to a major artery would cause a "Fountain of blood".

Anakin would have been covered in blood.

Lightsabers cauterise any wounds they inflict.

8)

I took this as an attempt at the old campiness. If anything, this is the closest it gets to Yoda Parody.Star Wars was good, though. This is the best movie of the first trilogy. You will see this, because if nothing else it's a decent action movie. You don't need to see his identification. These aren't the droids you're looking for. Move along.

I've noticed that StarWars gets an enormous amount of shit, while movies like The Longest Yard get nothing. Is Ep III really that much worse than Adam Sandler's fecal matter?

I think it's because everyone agrees that Episodes IV, V, and VI were excellent, and George Lucas has ruined his legacy by making the first trilogy so, not-excellent. It's the comparison, really.

To be fair, he was always going to fuck himself over. Everyone was going to say O,MG SHIT COMPARED TO THE FIRST THREE!!!!!!!!111oneoneone

I did enjoy the first two of the prequels, and I am looking forward to seeing this one.

Star Wars was suppose to be a special effects driven film with a sappy, standard story. Since special effects have surpassed Lucus's and every movie has effects as good or better than EPIII, franchise is all that's driving this movie.


Also, I liked the 3rd Matrix. Not for the story, but for the effects and scenery. I like ruined cities etc.

To be fair, he'll probably go back and fuck the original trilogy as well.

I liked the Matrix trilogy. I haven't liked the Star Wars prequels so far, but I'll like this 3rd movie.

Such as, for example, putting Hayden Christensen in the last scene of Return of the Jedi, completely erasing Sebastian Shaw as the redeemed Anakin.

Though it should be noted that I did enjoy the special editions. Just not the DVD edition.

There's smaller edits too.

When the Stormtroopers and Vader break into the ship at the beginning and there's a blaster battle, apparently there are very subtle edits of the blaster shots so that less actual hitting is shown.

Wait until all the blasters are walkie talkies.

Psh, there were stupid small edits in the special editions too. Like half the Dagobah scenes were inexplicably exchanged for different takes where the dialog had a different rhythm. No damn reason I could see except to make my years of memorizing the movies suddenly invalid.

There was a site about this stuff, but I can't seem to remember where I saw it or what it was. :(