September 11th tie-ins that didn't make the grade
Pentagrahams: Another fine breakfast cereal in the grand tradition of Golden Grahams and Cinnamon Grahams, Pentagrahams capture at once the horrifying tragedy of the events of 9/11 and the evil behind them. Plus, your kids will love the way the milk turns grey with sugar chemical fumes! For you parents, the US military's unbreakable fortress is fortified with seven vitamins and minerals to keep your kids healthy even when faced with a nation's death.
Religious Right Jenga: This new variation on the popular party game is much the same, but with a brand new twist that will add hours of fun! We're all used to shouting "Jenga!" as the blocks fall - but now you can pick a Race Card and shout dozens of hilarious alternatives! "It's all the Jews' fault!" "God hates gays!" "All hail the Confederacy!" and more.
The Ground Zero Telephone: This lovely phone, available in white, cream, black or office grey, comes with a "September" key in place of a "9". Now all your little emergencies will remind you of that historic day. (Choice of ringers: traditional bell, electric tone or "Let's Roll!")
Chicken Soup For the Domestic Terrorist's Soul: Killing thousands upon thousands of innocent civilians can be trying on a person's psyche, particularly when it's in your own backyard. Get to the bottom of your inner power animal and soothe it up with mind vapours; this collection contains one hundred and one stories to enrich your being and make you smile while you're bringing brimstone and vengeance upon us all. Groovy.
Trivial Pursuit / Monopoly (War Against Terror Edition): Play against your friends and neighbours as you race to get a piece of the pie - or try and own all the pies. The choice is yours with this pair of themed board games with a brutal oil war twist! Answer questions, negotiate - or just bomb and blackmail your way to victory. Both come with an easy-fold board and unbreakable oil pipeline stretching across Afghanistan. You'll "go to Camp X-Ray, go directly to Camp X-Ray, do not pass the UN, do not collect legal representation" again and again!
Yvette and Sandy Do the Twin Towers: on September 11th, you knew the towers were screwed. Now they really are! This movie brings a new meaning to the word "evacuation"! Find out how laden Osama really is! Etc.
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