A Day in the Life in the Temporal Anomaly

Woke up. Fell out of bed. Dragged a comb across my head. Woke up. Fell into bed. Found my way downstairs. Drank a cup. Looking up I fell out of bed. Dragged a comb across my head. Dragged a comb across my head. Dragged a comb across my head. Noticed I was late. Dragged a comb across my head. Dragged a comb across my head. Noticed I was late. Again. Dragged a comb across my head. Dragged a comb across my head. Broke free of time loop. Dragged a comb across my head. Dragged a comb across my head. Broke free of other time loop. Found my way upstairs and had a smoke. Looking up, I noticed I was late. Realised this was because I had not yet left the house. Cursed time loops 1 and 2. Dragged a comb across my head. Dragged a comb across my head. Dragged a comb across my head. Dragged a comb across my head. Made mental note not to curse time loops too loudly. Drank a cup. Noticed if I was any later I would be early. Dragged a comb across my head. Dragged a comb across my head. Early it is then. Drank a cup. Made some toast in seconds flat. Woke up. Drank a cup. Noticed toast now on fire. Dragged a comb across my head. Dragged a comb across my head. Dragged a comb across my head. Looked on helplessly as toast incinerated house. Fell out of bed. Noticed toast had incinerated floor. Fell out of house. Dragged a comb across my head. Dragged a comb across my head. Dragged a comb across my head. Scalp now bleeding. Toast fire now out of control. Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire. Noticed I was still late. Or early. Woke up. Temporal anomaly kind today. Have house back. Dragged a comb across my head. Ouch. Woke up. Fell out of bed. Made the bus in seconds flat. Disposed of comb.

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