Let's Lose Jesus!

A group of twelve people is let loose in a shopping mall, fairground, or other similarly well-populated location. Jesus is among them, and he won't shut up! The aim of the game is to quietly slip away without him noticing. The last person to be stuck with Jesus is the loser and has to be converted to Catholicism.

Deep Hypnosis Family Feud

Just like the ordinary Family Feud we have come to know and love, except all the contestants are in a state of deep hypnosis. In the first round, they must answer as truthfully as possible; as rounds progress, they will think they are in a variety of situations culminating in falling down a well into the belly of the earth, screaming uncontrollably as blood-soaked tentacles reach out to squeeze them, all the while answering inane questions about going shopping and what you might find at a wedding. Sounds like fun? Survey says yes!

Who Wants To Be Mauled By A Bear?

Contestants line up to be eviscerated by our hairy honey-loving friends on national TV. The twist? Unknown to the contestants, these are animatronic bears, controlled by the audience using their phones! The ultimate in truly democratic television.

Win The Middle East's Money

Each week, a new country invades a Middle Eastern country, occupies it for a while, and then attempts to establish as many protectionist contracts as possible in order to assert their dominance in the financial markets and acquire control of that country's assets. The host's catchphrase - "Yo, Blair!" - is sure to be a nationwide favourite.

Dance, Monkey, Dance: Live!

Six contestants are locked in video-monitored rooms with no food, water or sanitary facilities. They must dance to earn the right to escape; should they stop dancing, pellets fire out of the walls. Over a number of days, a live feed on E4 allows viewers at home to keep track of their progress and vote for their favourite. The last person still dancing leaves with their dignity intact; all others are immediately sent into battle. Ant and Dec occasionally pop in to add their brand of erudite Geordie commentary and unleash herds of bees.

Cunt: Houses of Parliament

Everyone's familiar with the popular family game Cunt, where players take turns to shout the word "cunt" at ever increasing volumes. The twist here is that the contestants are smuggled into the debating chamber of the House of Commons and required to play the game during a session on immigration reform. The last person to be arrested for treason wins.

Schroedinger's Cat Or Dead Cat

Noel Edmonds hosts this daily gameshow where a single contestant is confronted with twelve boxes, each containing cats of some description. Are they alive? Are they dead? Not to be confused with Dead Pets Win Prizes, where a family's dead, decomposing friend is brought to life each week in order to bring joy into the hearts of millions by batting a ball about or barking the alphabet.

Scrapheap Terrorist Challenge

A twist on the standard Scrapheap Challenge formula, two teams must compete to make a dirty bomb using ordinary ingredients before the Department of Homeland Security closes in on them. As this could take decades, the host drops progressively less subtle clues to the feds every five minutes through the course of a half hour show, starting initially with what will be blown up and when, culminating in a written report containing the exact blood type and passport details of everyone involved. Updates then occur nightly for the next month to see how the feds are doing.