He is, she is

He is the kind of man who uses words like discombobulated in everyday conversation, in the mistaken belief that it makes him sound smart. She is the kind of woman who smiles politely when people cross her, safe in the knowledge that God will eventually hold them responsible for stealing her parking spot at the mall. He is the kind of man who likes to watch pornography in faceless hotels while he's on business trips, because he's not allowed to look at those dirty little sluts at home. She is the kind of woman who insists on wearing pleated plaid skirts, because a piano teacher should always look her best, no matter who her students are. He is the kind of man who likes to take things apart to see how they work, but often has trouble putting them back together again. She is the kind of woman who will often get a little tipsy during the afternoon, while she waits patiently for her husband to get home from a hard day in the office. He is the kind of man who walks the same route through the office every morning to see if the nice girl in reception is wearing a bra today. She is the kind of woman who didn't want children when she was 30, and thinks now that, at 42, it is too late to be starting a family. He is the kind of man who smiles broadly at bawdy jokes, and always smells vaguely of breath mints and aftershave. She is the kind of woman who cooks the same meal for each day of the week, just as she has for the past twenty four years, because her husband likes having a baked dinner on Sundays. He is the kind of man who refuses to accept that he's losing his hair, despite the mounting pile of evidence clogging the drain in the shower. She is the kind of woman who is too polite to tell her husband that his bald spot is getting larger and larger. He is the kind of man who goes weeping to his friends because his life has reached crisis point, as he's trapped in a career he hates and is desperate to retire to go fishing on Wednesdays. She is the kind of woman who keeps mainly to herself, speaking only to the students who come to her home to learn to play wholesome music on the piano. He is the kind of man who will cheat on his wife, lie to her face and eventually leave her in the mistaken belief that the nice girl from reception is accepting his advances. She is the kind of woman who knows her husband very well, and is planning to kill him some time in the next three weeks.

What do you think, did we get it right? Comment here...

WANT MORE FUNNY LIKE THIS? FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK